Jon Stewart: Political fundraising emails like a ‘Nigerian prince selling a Groupon deal for boner pills’
Daily Show host Jon Stewart mocked the Democratic Party, from President Obama on down, over their frantic fundraising emails cluttering up email accounts, saying the requests for cash were sent with “a frequency and desperation matched only by a Nigerian Prince selling a Groupon deal for boner pills.”
Pointing out that up to $6.5 billion will be spent on the upcoming election causing political parties to flood email accounts with desperate pleas for money, Stewart noted that Democrats have railed about the influence of cash into elections while at the same time filling their own coffers.
Calling money “The pillow smothering democracy in its hospital bed,” Stewart warned against, “condemning a thing that you have clearly mastered.”
“It’s one of those ‘thou shalt not kill — but if you’re going to: single shot, back of the head, you want a carbon steel hacksaw, then put the parts in several trashbags, spread them out over a forest.”
Stewart then turned to the emails.
“The emails. Oh dear God, the emails from the Democrats,” Stewart said. “With a frequency and desperation matched only by a Nigerian Prince selling a Groupon deal for boner pills. The Democrats. And the emails. Will. Not. Stop.”
Stewart then shared subject lines from an assortment of fundraising email asks, including “Jon and POTUS in L.A!,” We Keep Emailing,” “Fwd: We Keep Emailing,” leading up to “We’ve Got Nothing Left,” and “All Hope Is Lost.”
“Not an email from your friend Sylvia Plath, not from miners trapped for three weeks in a mine shaft….” Stewart explained. “But from a national political party trying to win your vote.”
“My God. Does the body of the email say what it will take to restore hope? To get the Democrats off the ledge? What does it take? A million dollars? A kidney?”
“No. Five f*cking dollars! Five dollars. This is the end, goodbye cruel world! Unless of course you have enough money to buy me twelve inches of sandwich.”
Watch the video below uploaded to YouTube by TornadoDrama: