I have a humble suggestion. If you want to make the absurd claim that any criticism of Israel is against American values, you're going to want to at least pretend that you care about America and American values. So, you won't, for example, want to brag about how you manipulate the United States and undermine U.S.-brokered peace accords.
During an interview aired on CBS Sunday, you, Israel’s prime minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, attacked the United States for daring to criticize Israel's latest settlements and for daring to speak candidly about the way other countries would view Israel's actions. In that sexy, sinister voice, which so perfectly embodies your combover, you said, "It’s against the American values. And it doesn’t bode well for peace... The idea that we’d have this ethnic purification as a condition for peace, I think it’s anti-peace.”
It's true. What is more UnAmerican than a basic head not towards civil rights and human rights and... candor.
But here's the thing, Bibi. If you want to pretend that you care about American values and about peace, you have to be somewhat convincing. You have to commit to a role and get into character. You can't overtly say things that show your contempt for the U.S. and the peace process. Like, remember back in in 2001, when you bragged on tape about how easy it was to manipulate the United States? You said, "I know what America is. America is a thing you can move very easily, move it in the right direction. They won’t get in their way."
And that's not it. You also explained how you sabotaged the peace process when you were prime minister and Bill Clinton was president:
They asked me before the election if I'd honor [the Oslo accords]," he said. "I said I would, but ... I'm going to interpret the accords in such a way that would allow me to put an end to this galloping forward to the '67 borders. How did we do it? Nobody said what defined military zones were. Defined military zones are security zones; as far as I'm concerned, the entire Jordan Valley is a defined military zone. Go argue.
So, moving forward, for future reference, be a better and slicker liar.