On last night’s episode of Saturday Night Live, former cast member Bill Hader returned to play veteran news reporter Herb Welsh, who was reporting from the scene of a virginity pledge rally.
Welsh — a racist old reporter celebrating his 61st year with the network — is introduced by anchor Chuck Dawes, who throws it to the veteran reporter.
The first person he interviews is Michael Fitzgerald, who appears to be Hispanic.
“You don’t look like a Fitzgerald to me,” he says, before asking him, “what’s this all about?”
“We just feel there’s too much pressure on teens these days, sex-wise,” Fitzgerald replies.
“You have a kid?” Welsh asks.
“No, I’m a virgin,” Fitzgerald replies.
“Then why do you have a diaper bag?”
“I don’t,” Fitzgerald says, “this is just what I use to carry around my books.”
“There you have it — don’t believe the hype, Central Park remains unsafe for women after dark. Back to you, Chuck!”
“No,” Dawes replies, “ask him how many students are involved in taking the virginity pledge.”
“I don’t take orders from mannequins,” Welsh says.
“I know your smooth down there,” he replies.
Welsh then interviews one of the group’s faculty sponsors — and insults her, first by assuming she’s Russian, then by assuming she’s Hispanic.
Watch the entire sketch below.