It’s very possible that Tucker Carlson — head babysitter at the Daily Caller Journalism Playpen — was unavailable on Monday while prepping for his star turn on Alex Jones ‘The Bilderberg Space-Lizards Ate My Bowl of Strawberries‘ Conspiracy & Vitamin Supplement show, so he probably wasn’t aware that his staff was planning on embarrassing him.
If that is possible.
But it seems that one of the hardest working journalists in all of journalism, Patrick Howley, last night feverishly put the final touches on the biggest game-changing blockbuster exposé since the Breitbart gang thwarted a potential Obama Presidency with their chilling “I Hugged A Black Man” bombshell. Barack Obama never got his mojo back after that and now he’s working at a boutique law firm in Fullerton, I hear.
Wait. No. Actually Breitbart editors Ben Shapiro and Joel Pollak were later shuffled off to other jobs and Andrew Breitbart stayed dead out of the sheer embarrassment of it all. If that was possible for a guy whose last memorable public appearance was yelling “Stop raping people,” at random passersby.
We miss you, Andy. See you at the crossroads…
But never mind the good old days because Howley at the DC has the latest hot scoop that is going to blow the lid off of the New Hampshire race between Jeanne Shaheen and occasionally-naked himbo Scott Brown.
You may remember Howley for his Pulitzer Prize winning feature article, “Hey. Wow. I’ve been masturbating to a lesbian, Does that make me gay?“. Or you may have enjoyed his Lukas Prize winning rumination, “I wish these gays were gayer, particularly the ones who are hitting on me.”
Howley is truly a delightful wordsmith with a whimsical outlook on life.
His latest — which will surely land him a Nobel Prize in Journalism (there is no such thing, but a boy has gotta have a dream) — uncovers a “hand-stamped” letter sent to New Hampshire Senator Jeanne Shaheen from IRS chief counsel William J. Wilkins regarding laws — written in 1959 — regulating non-profit groups.
With artless scare quotes, incendiary wording, and breathless credulousness Howley would like you to think that Shaheen was plotting to kill conservatives in their beds using IRS ninjas.
Let’s break it down, shall we? [Highlighted words or phrases by me]
Democratic New Hampshire Sen. Jeanne Shaheen was principally involved in a plot with Lois Lerner and President Barack Obama’s political appointee at the IRS to lead a program of harassment against conservative nonprofit groups during the 2012 election, according to letters exclusively obtained by The Daily Caller.
“Principally involved in a plot“- elsewhere in Howley’s story:
“I hope this information is helpful,” Wilkins wrote. “I am sending a similar response to your colleagues.”
The “colleagues”? Howley again:
Shaheen got the inside info from the IRS, making it clear she was the point person in a group composed of six close Democratic colleagues including Chuck Schumer and Al Franken, who joined with Shaheen in quietly writing a letter to then-IRS commissioner Doug Shulman expressing their concern about new nonprofit groups engaging in political activity in 2012.
Oh, and about that letter that was written “quietly”?
The Democratic senators’ publicly available March 9, 2012 letter…
Now let’s go back and pull some fun action terms, baseless insinuations, and references to mysterious insiders who ‘know things — bad things, scary things.’
…the agency delayed releasing the information to a major conservative super PAC multiple times, even threatening to see the super PAC in court,
And that “major conservative super PAC” would be…? Howley neglects to tell us.
IRS chief counsel William J. Wilkins, a White House visitor described by insiders as “The President’s Man at the IRS,” personally wrote in a hand-stamped memo to “Senator Shaheen” on official Department of the Treasury letterhead on April 25, 2012.
I almost want to deduct points from Howley for not adding that the letter was sealed with wax bearing the mark of Wilkin’s signet ring: a hammer and a sickle and an aborted baby.
The plot was operating out of Lois Lerner’s Tax Exempt Government Entities Division.
Here is “the plot” in Howley’s own words:
The Democratic senators’ publicly available March 9, 2012 letter asked the IRS to “immediately change the administrative framework for enforcement of the tax code as it applies to groups designated as ‘social welfare’ organizations” by introducing a new “bright line test” for how much a tax-exempt group can invest in political activity and by setting a new rule that at least 51 percent of a group’s activity must non-political. The senators called for more elaborate disclosures about finances and “undertakings” in groups’ form 990 submissions and sought new rules about how much donors could write off as business expenses
So, basically, the senators were looking into laws written in 1959 governing non-profits that identify themselves as “social welfare organizations,” when they’re really just partisan attack organizations that are run by grifters making a living shaking down the rubes with scare stories.
And if you need an example of such an organization, you need look no further than:
The Daily Caller News Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit providing original investigative reporting from a team of professional reporters that operates for the public benefit.
So you have to ask yourself: is Howley looking out for Tucker’s little journalism grift, or is he just a half-baked, talentless hack trying to rat-fuck a campaign with an 11th-hour hit piece that doesn’t even pass the “are you fucking kidding me” test?
The judges will accept an answer of: “both”.