On last night’s episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert interviewed Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug, the star of the upcoming film The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.
Colbert began by pointing out all the things they have in common, like “the fact that we both live in gated communities, and we’re both fiscal conservatives who sleep on giant piles of money.”
“Quite right,” Smaug replied, “time to return to the gold standard. Rand Paul 2016! Go get some Rand!”
“I like your style, but not everybody does,” Colbert replied, before listing Smaug’s accomplishments — the destruction of cities, the pillaging of nations. “Yet in this movie, you come off as the bad guy. Why is that?”
“Typical Hollywood liberal bias,” Smaug said. “It’s hard for conservatives to get good roles in this town. That’s why Kelsey Grammer and I are always up for the same part.”
“You’re not playing the ‘dragon-card,’ are you Smaug? Because not all dragons get bad press,” Colbert said.
“I’m not asking for sympathy,” Smaug replied, “but Stephen, I’m talking about real dragons — not one of those Khaleesi-whipped lap-lizards from Game of Thrones. I am an old school worm, yo, keepin’ in real. Doin’ what dragons do.”
“Now, did you or did you not try to kill Bilbo Baggins?” Colbert asked.
“Answer me this Stephen — what would you do if somebody broke into your house wearing a hoodie? I was standing my ground. Do you have a problem with that?”
Watch the rest of the interview — in which the pair discuss the new film — below via Colbert Nation.