John Oliver's Last Week Tonight is still on hiatus until Feb. 8, but the host took time out to post a web exclusive video auditioning for the '50 Shades of Grey' film, despite the fact that it is "a movie that has already been made, based on a book that I have never read."
Oliver began by apologizing for launching a social media campaign, #notmychristian, over the casting of Jamie Dornan in the lead role of powerful financier Christian Grey, described in the vaguely erotic book as "the epitome of male beauty."
"It was designed to protest the casting of Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey in the upcoming 50 Shades of grey movie, " Oliver explained. " Now look, I'm sorry if anyone was offended by my incredibly accurate evaluation of the casting choice for a movie whose target audience, just going by the trailer, seems to be suburban mothers of three who have somehow never had sex before."
Oliver went on to describe the film's trailer as "erotic as watching someone drop an unpeeled carrot into a shopping bag," adding, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, a thing going into a different thing."
He then went on to briefly audition for the male lead in the film, dimming the lights, and sexily saying, "Hello. I'm Christian Grey. Epitome of male beauty. According to Wikipedia, I'm ready to take a young woman from frumpy nerd to fully-realized sexual being. This is a thing I, Christian Grey, feel totally comfortable talking about and doing."
"Maybe I'll tell her to let her hair down and stop wearing paint-stained overalls all the time," he continued. "Or maybe that's just the plot of 1990's teen comedy 'She's All That.' Either way, it doesn't matter, either way, I'm presuming this is all going to end in butt stuff."
Watch the video below, uploaded to YouTube by Last Week Tonight: