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WATCH: Sarah Palin becomes ‘naughty hitchiker’ to bum rides, get people to watch her dumb show

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Sarah Palin, former fish-egg harvester and anti-coherentist, has a TeeVee show she would really really like you to watch because she needs the money to buy furnishings for Casa de Igloo, her far northern retreat from a corrupt and decaying society filled with science, modernity, culture, reason, diversity, and food not derived from a moose.

Lately, Palin has turned to the local animal shelter for much needed supplies; converting dogs into step-stools, using cats wrapped in duct-tape as door stops, and forcing live guinea pigs to serve as loofahs. It’s hard out there for a grifter. And a guinea pig.

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Tonight the second season of Sarah Palin’s Amazing America  (or “Amazing Amercia,” according to the Sportsman Channel’s YouTube page) launches and this season promises to be loaded with Star-Spangled hijinks like gun-shootin’ and fishin’ and g-droppin’ and maybe some good ole fashioned All-American meth-cookin’.

Yee. Haw.

According to Sarah’s ShoutyFace page, she’ll also be going on a date with former Damn Yankees back-up guitarist Ted Nugent who likes using the word “retard” when Sarah — who is incredibly unfond of the term —  isn’t around. Maybe he’ll slip up and say, “Day-um Sarah! This moose chili is so good, it’s retarded,” as slaps her on the ass.

I would totally watch that.

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But if that isn’t enough to get you to tune in, Sarah has a new commercial for the show that scientifically proves that middle-aged guys in red muscle-cars won’t stop for hitchhiking hippy-looking  chicks wearing loose-fitting comfortable flowing clothes. No sir, they will not. In Sarah Palin’s Amazing America (or ‘Amercia‘) dudes traveling America’s amazing highways and byways, are on the look-out for hawt grandmothers, strutting their stuff on the side of the road in tight  jeans and tops , and  wearing “those boots I wear to the cowboy bar to ride the bull and barf up my six appletinis on weekends” with ‘Murican flags on them.

Yee. Haw. Again.

The promo is below, and if you’re having misty-water colored memories of Sammy Johns’ Chevy Van, you’ll note the car is a convertible so NOT THE SAME.

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Expect something more like coaxing her out of her tube-top for a photo-shoot while she’s sprawled on the hood.

I’m sure it will be tasteful, like all things Palin…

Watch the commercial below uploaded to YouTube by the Sportsman Channel:

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Here are 11 of the most punchable faces of 2017

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Remember back when 2016 began and the world held so much promise and then a bunch of people in the Midwest got mad at Hillary Clinton because she didn't visit their state fair, eat a corn dog and admire their butter cow so they decided to toss a match in the septic tank by voting for Donald Trump to "shake things up"?

That, among other reasons, is how we got to where we are now in Trump Year One: Like A Plague, But Kinda Worse.

It has been a very weird year compared to the past few to the point where someone like Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Zodiac Killer) is barely a blip on our screen because he seems sort of "meh" compared to the daily tsunami of Trump atrocities that have us drowning in depression -- and depending upon Robert Mueller and Zoloft (Ask your doctor if ZOLOFT is right for you) to pull us through.

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WATCH LIVE: Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds WH briefing as Trump squabbles with Gold Star families

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As President Donald Trump's administration squabbles with the family of Sgt. La David Johnson and Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-FL) over the president's ham-handed attempt to offer condolences to Johnson's widow, many people are failing to ask why U.S. Army Green Berets were in Niger at all.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders is expected to receive questions about Niger and more queries about the administration's decision to go on the warpath against Wilson with false charges about a 2015 speech.

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‘Slaves built the US the way cows built McDonald’s’ — and other historical ‘facts’ from Katie McHugh

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Katie McHugh was fired from Breitbart News on Monday after she wrote on Twitter that "there would be no deadly terror attacks in the U.K. if Muslims didn't live there" after a terror attack in London.

Below is an article about McHugh's from 2015. As you can see for yourself, she had a history of racist Twitter rants:

It must be very liberating to be a conservative right now. With fifteen GOP candidates still vying for a job that will never be hired for -- now that Rick Perry finally looks like the smart one by saying "Laters, losers" -- crazy talk wins the hearts and minds of the conservative base and everyone is doing it.

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