Sarah Palin, former fish-egg harvester and anti-coherentist, has a TeeVee show she would really really like you to watch because she needs the money to buy furnishings for Casa de Igloo, her far northern retreat from a corrupt and decaying society filled with science, modernity, culture, reason, diversity, and food not derived from a moose.
Lately, Palin has turned to the local animal shelter for much needed supplies; converting dogs into step-stools, using cats wrapped in duct-tape as door stops, and forcing live guinea pigs to serve as loofahs. It’s hard out there for a grifter. And a guinea pig.
Tonight the second season of Sarah Palin’s Amazing America (or “Amazing Amercia,” according to the Sportsman Channel’s YouTube page) launches and this season promises to be loaded with Star-Spangled hijinks like gun-shootin’ and fishin’ and g-droppin’ and maybe some good ole fashioned All-American meth-cookin’.
According to Sarah’s ShoutyFace page, she’ll also be going on a date with former Damn Yankees back-up guitarist Ted Nugent who likes using the word “retard” when Sarah — who is incredibly unfond of the term — isn’t around. Maybe he’ll slip up and say, “Day-um Sarah! This moose chili is so good, it’s retarded,” as slaps her on the ass.
I would totally watch that.
But if that isn’t enough to get you to tune in, Sarah has a new commercial for the show that scientifically proves that middle-aged guys in red muscle-cars won’t stop for hitchhiking hippy-looking chicks wearing loose-fitting comfortable flowing clothes. No sir, they will not. In Sarah Palin’s Amazing America (or ‘Amercia‘) dudes traveling America’s amazing highways and byways, are on the look-out for hawt grandmothers, strutting their stuff on the side of the road in tight jeans and tops , and wearing “those boots I wear to the cowboy bar to ride the bull and barf up my six appletinis on weekends” with ‘Murican flags on them.
Yee. Haw. Again.
The promo is below, and if you’re having misty-water colored memories of Sammy Johns’ Chevy Van, you’ll note the car is a convertible so NOT THE SAME.
Expect something more like coaxing her out of her tube-top for a photo-shoot while she’s sprawled on the hood.
I’m sure it will be tasteful, like all things Palin…
Watch the commercial below uploaded to YouTube by the Sportsman Channel: