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Jon Stewart schools ‘young padawan’ Marco Rubio: Your ‘1999’ joke was actually ‘complete rubbish’

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Daily Show host Jon Stewart noted on Tuesday that Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) looked somewhat pleased with himself for making a musical pun while announcing his candidacy for president, before pointing out that the joke was actually on the senator.

“Oh Marco, young padawan,” Stewart said. “I know what it’s like to have a joke so good you want to throw it out there, even though it’s complete rubbish.”

Stewart seemed to launch into an impersonation of Dennis Miller as he recounted how Rubio said on Monday that “our leaders put us at a disadvantage by taxing and borrowing and regulating like it’s 1999,” a reference to the Prince song “1999” that had Rubio smiling.

PolitiFact noted that Rubio’s analogy was off, since the national budget was balanced under then-President Bill Clinton’s administration that year. Stewart panned Rubio’s comparison more strongly on Tuesday.

“Not only is the joke slightly lame, but it’s a little inaccurate,” the host said. “The American economy should be so lucky as to be like it was in 1999. The Clinton-era year was the peak of possibly the greatest peacetime boom in our history: budget surplus, low inflation, high employment.”

Unfortunately for Rubio, Stewart observed, the only “important Latino political story” many news outlets cared about on Monday was former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s visit to a Chipotle restaurant during her road trip to Iowa.

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“How could Rubio have known that on the exact same day he was launching his candidacy, Hillary Clinton would eat lunch?” Stewart asked sarcastically.

As reporters pored over everything from Clinton’s order to her sunglasses to how “relatable” the appearance made her seem, Stewart found himself wondering how CNN failed to go “full Malaysian airplane” on the story, with computer simulations and burrito analysis.

“It’s gonna be a long f*cking election,” Stewart lamented.

Watch Stewart’s commentary, as posted online on Tuesday, below.

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Prosecutors offered indicted GOP congressman a deal to keep his multiple taxpayer-funded trysts quiet — but he refused

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On Tuesday, CNN reported that Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), facing indictment for stealing campaign funds and falsifying spending reports, was offered a deal by to keep secret the incidents in which he used taxpayer money to finance affairs with lobbyists — but he refused.

"Prosecutors told a judge they tried to cut a deal with Hunter to avoid revealing the alleged tryst, but his attorneys refused," reported CNN's Tom Foreman.

The affairs were made public shortly after it was revealed that Hunter's wife Margaret, an alleged co-conspirator in the scheme, was cooperating with prosecutors. Hunter had previously tried to blame the entire scheme on his wife — a claim that looks increasingly dubious.

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Soccer superstar Megan Rapinoe profanely rips Trump and vows she won’t go to the White House

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U.S. women's national soccer team star Megan Rapinoe will not be visiting the White House if the team successfully repeats their Women's World Cup victory.

"I'm not going to the f*cking White House," she told Eight By Eight Magazine.

"We're not going to be invited," she added.

On Monday, President Donald Trump ripped Rapinoe for protesting during the national anthem.

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Facebook

Ted Cruz slapped down at Senate hearing for ‘working the refs’ to keep extremist content on social media

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Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) was called out for "working the referees" by attempting to "terrify" technology company executives into not enforcing their own rules against political extremism.

The Senate Subcommittee on Communications, Technology, Innovation, and the Internet on Tuesday held a hearing titled, “Optimizing for Engagement: Understanding the Use of Persuasive Technology on Internet Platforms.”

"I think these questions raise very serious -- these documents raise very serious questions about political bias at the company," Cruz said, referring to Google.

Sen. Brian Schatz (D-HI) responded.

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