Scott Walker can't wait to be president so that he can blow up the world: Walker/End Times 2016
Gov. Scott Walker by Donkey Hotey (Flickr Creative Commons)

Wisconsin college dropout and general all-around goober Scott Walker is making plans to be The Boss of Us All in 2017 and some of them seem very exciting if you are into war and worldwide conflagrations and death and the destruction of civilization as we know it.

Sounds like fun, right?

Even before the illegitimate Obama administration announced their big phoney-baloney deal with Iran today -- ha ha, suck it, Tom Cotton, you giraffe-necked loser --  Scott Walker already announced that he is against it no matter what is in it. This, in conservative circles, is what is called "forward thinking," by which they mean "if the black guy is for it, it's probably bad and racist against oppressed white Christians, so we hate it."

In an interview, Walker said (doing his best Ron Fournier impression) that America needs the kind of bold leadership that people like himself and soul mate Vladimir Putin can provide:

"Look at the mess we have because of the lack of American leadership. Putin is no dummy. He thinks like Lenin. Lenin said you probe with bayonets. If you find steel, you pull back. If you find mush, you push. And that's exactly what Putin's doing because of our failure to lead and Hillary Clinton was right at the forefront of that."

Taking his cues from how the awesome Russians are, Walker said he plans to ride roughshod over the world -- particularly the Europeans --  by the unstoppable force of his winning personality and just crap all over this Iran deal-- whatever the hell is in it.

Asked if he would just shit-can the Iranian deal even if the rest of the world was cool with it, Walker was all: "America, fuck, yeah!" or, more accurately:

"Absolutely. If I ultimately choose to run, and if I’m honored to be elected by the people of this country, I will pull back on that on January 20, 2017, because the last thing — not just for the region but for this world — we need is a nuclear-armed Iran. It leaves not only problems for Israel, because they want to annihilate Israel, it leaves the problems in the sense that the Saudis, the Jordanians and others are gonna want to have access to their own nuclear weapons."

And if Walker needs a running mate to help make his presidential apocalypse dream come true, Illinois Senator Mark Kirk is there to be his Dick Cheney v2.0:

The Illinois Republican trashed a deal struck by global powers with Tehran, concluding in a phone interview “that Neville Chamberlain got a lot of more out of Hitler than Wendy Sherman got out of Iran,” a reference to a top State Department negotiator on the deal.


“We should be a reviewing presence to see how this unfolds,” Kirk said of Congress’ role, adding: “Which we all know is going to end with a mushroom cloud somewhere near Tehran.”

Walker/Kirk 2016: Because peace, stability, and planetary survival are totally overrated.