‘America’s Best Christian’ roasts Goodwill: They’re ‘secular charlatans’ using religious tricks to get rich
Satirist Deven Green — a.k.a. “America’s Best Christian,” Mrs. Betty Bowers — skewered Goodwill Industries in a video published on Tuesday, noting that it would take the typical Goodwill worker 2,598 years to earn the $1,188,733 southern California CEO Craig Smith makes in a year.
“Jesus hasn’t even lived that long, but he’d recognize those wages,” Bowers says. “And he’d also recognize secular charlatans using his flock’s playbook to get rich. Make tax-free millions by pretending you’re doing good? Well, that’s religion’s corporate motto. And quite frankly, we’re tired of the competition.”
Bowers points out that Goodwill is able to hire disabled workers for 22 cents an hour thanks to a loophole in the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938. As the Huffington Post has reported, the company has applied this “special wage certificate” to 7,300 out of its 105,000 employees.
“Just like most churches, or any get-rich-quick scheme, the cash always trickles up to the top,” she explains. “One branch paid its top executives more than $3.7 million in one year. That’s a lot of charity — to themselves.”
Goodwill also takes after many religious institutions, she says, because it sends its leaders on lavish trips by calling it “outreach.”
“[That is] a Christian ministry term of art that means roughly ‘Which Four Seasons do you want me to stay in this time, Jesus?'” she chides.
Watch Bowers’ commentary, as posted on Tuesday, below.