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Rick Perry just said he’s like Jesus — here are 7 ways he’s nothing like Christ

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Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry compared himself to Jesus over the weekend during a “We Stand With God” rally in South Carolina — but the Republican presidential candidate is really nothing like the biblical Christ.

Jesus promised his followers eternal life, while Perry asked supporters whether they were “willing to die” in the battle against the “political corruption” of “the left.” “Will you join me in that effort? Will you load up? Are you ready to sacrifice?” Perry asked Saturday. “What are you willing to die for? Are you willing to rise up and stand for God and to go forward and live for the principles and the values that this country were based upon? Are you ready? Onward Christian soldiers!”

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Jesus said the “kingdom of heaven” belongs to children, but Perry agreed with the Texas legislature’s GOP majority that slashing education funding by $5.4 billion was a “thoughtful reduction.” Most of those reductions were endured by teachers like Jesus, who were laid off by the thousands.

Jesus urged his followers to create new disciples by baptizing them in the Holy Trinity — the father, the son and the Holy Spirit. Rick Perry infamously was unable to remember during a 2012 presidential debate which three federal agencies he would shutter.

Rick Perry signed nearly 300 execution orders as Texas governor, including the death penalty of a father convicted in the arson deaths of his children after prosecutors hid evidence of his innocence, and vetoed a ban on executing mentally disabled inmates. Let’s just say that Jesus wouldn’t have done that.

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Perry and the GOP legislature turned down billions in federal dollars that would have expanded Medicaid health coverage to 1.5 million poor Texans, but Jesus scolded those who have “the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him.”

Jesus had a lot to say about killing and lying being wrong, so he might have been angered by Perry claiming the shootings of nine black worshipers at a South Carolina church by a white supremacist were simply an accident — and not all that bad compared the killing of 12 people earlier this year at the French magazine Charlie Hebdo.

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Jesus urged his followers to treat workers fairly and ethically, but lax enforcement of existing safety laws were blamed for a “preventable” explosion that killed 14 workers at a Texas fertilizer plant. “Texas is the land of freedom from over-regulation,” the former governor boasts on his campaign website. Perry also has reportedly stopped paying his campaign staffers.

Jesus and Rick Perry are alike in at least one way. Neither of them looks all that much smarter wearing glasses.

Hipster Jesus

Hipster Jesus

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Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. Like you, we here at Raw Story believe in the power of progressive journalism — and we’re investing in investigative reporting as other publications give it the ax. Raw Story readers power David Cay Johnston’s DCReport, which we've expanded to keep watch in Washington. We’ve exposed billionaire tax evasion and uncovered White House efforts to poison our water. We’ve revealed financial scams that prey on veterans, and efforts to harm workers exploited by abusive bosses. We’ve launched a weekly podcast, “We’ve Got Issues,” focused on issues, not tweets. Unlike other news sites, we’ve decided to make our original content free. But we need your support to do what we do.

Raw Story is independent. You won’t find mainstream media bias here. We’re not part of a conglomerate, or a project of venture capital bros. From unflinching coverage of racism, to revealing efforts to erode our rights, Raw Story will continue to expose hypocrisy and harm. Unhinged from corporate overlords, we fight to ensure no one is forgotten.

We need your support to keep producing quality journalism and deepen our investigative reporting. Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Invest with us in the future. Make a one-time contribution to Raw Story Investigates, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.



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‘Go back to Harlem!’: Florida woman has n-word laced meltdown after bumping black woman’s shopping cart

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On Saturday, the Atlanta Black Star reported an incident in Florida, in which a white woman screamed racial slurs at a black woman at a Publix supermarket in Miami after their shopping carts jostled each other.

After the woman allegedly banged into Nicki Johnson's cart, she refused to apologize, saying, "I didn't hit you with my cart, and f**k you,  you f**king n****r."

Johnson whipped out her cell phone camera, and began recording the incident, saying "You, why don't you call me a n****r again?"

"You thinking I'm sorry?" snapped the woman. "Let me tell you something, I don't have to call you anything. Get away from me, I will call security and there are surveillance videos. Get away from me!"

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‘I’m a nurse, what are you?’: Tennessee lawmaker humiliates anti-choice activists in brutal public grilling

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Anti-choice activists in Tennessee were unprepared for the grilling they got from a Democratic Party lawmaker when making the case for a bill that would outlaw abortion before many women knew they were pregnant.

One of the speakers in favor of the fetal heartbeat bill was Baptist Pastor Randy Davis, who was questioned by state Sen. Katrina Robinson (D-Memphis).

"How many women executive pastors do you have in your convention?" Robinson asked Davis. "Or senior pastors."

"None," Davis replied.

"So is it the same ideology that restricts access to women being able to lead a congregation that leads you all to support women not being able to make a medical decision about their body?" Robinson asked.

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2020 Election

Trump is doing everything he did in 2016 to get elected — and it’s failing this time: columnist

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On Saturday, Washington Post columnist Dan Balz wrote that President Donald Trump is relying on the same old bag of tricks that let him lurch blindly to a surprise victory in 2016 — but that that playbook is unlikely to get him elected again, let alone deliver sound domestic or foreign policy.

"After a week in which the threat of recession rocked global financial markets, his trade war with China showed no signs of progress and the government of Israel got into a nasty dispute with two members of Congress, President Trump went to bed Thursday night with other weighty issues on his mind. 'Great news,' he tweeted. 'Tonight we broke the all-time attendance record previously held by Elton John at #SNHUArena [Southern New Hampshire University] in Manchester!'" wrote Balz. "This is the frivolous mind-set of the president of the United States. Trump’s flurry of statements over the past few days have brought into focus once again something fundamental about him: He has little understanding of what it means to govern. He would rather tweet from the bleachers."

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