15 hilarious and surprising moments from the horrifying GOP debate
Donald Trump and Jeb Bush debate on CNN

Wednesday night's GOP debate was, as usual, excruciating and endless. But here are three hours of hell boiled down into some important take-aways, life lessons, and teachable moments.

1. Mike Huckabee's / analogy works so well once inmates are paid $80,000/yr to issue marriage licenses

2. Marco Rubio's family "fled from Cuba" before Castro was in power. .

3. Marco Rubio's slipping in "instead of leaving it to some translator at " is equivalent of adding "in bed"

4. "I'd rather go to Iraq than work for Carly Fiorina again." former staffer on not getting paid by Fiorina  http://t.co/bK9tsJnJkx

5. "It's all about America." Ben Carson's alternative to throat clearing or "ummm"

6. Big ups to for going with a more natural hair shade.

7. Ben Carson's doing really well for someone who downed 700 mgs of Quaaludes & is being fed responses through an invisible earpiece

8. Well, I'd say a blob of cells, not tissue. But, sure. Close enough.

9. The real litmus test is if Huckabee & other pseudo Christians sees human life as human life once it's born.

10. That awkward moment when you get an ideological ladyboner for (, )

11.  marijuana is Texan for cocaine.

12. Me when I hear Chris Christie say that being pro-life means being pro life outside the womb:

13. Marco Rubio: "America is not a planet." Donald Trump: "We don't have a country."

14. Trump just shared an emotional story abt a baby getting a horse-appropriate dose of a vaccine & going autistic the next week

15. Of COURSE Rosa Parks should go on a bill. She ended racism. Duh!