John Oliver’s HBO series Last Week Tonight is on hiatus until Sep. 13, but Oliver released a back-to-school message for students on Sunday night.
“We wanted to give a quick back-to-school video for the many students who are returning to school to prepare you for the upcoming academic year,” Oliver said.
He then began to run down a list of subjects like American History (“Google [former President] Warren G. Harding penis named ‘Jerry’ right now,” said Oliver. “You won’t be disappointed.”), World History (Christopher Columbus, Vasco de Gama and other other “explorers,” said Oliver, “were really genocidal lunatics.”) and math.
“You’re going to be repeatedly told that you’ll need this when you grow up,” Oliver said. “That is bullshit.”
“You will need addition, subtraction, multiplication and division,” he said, “which, where I’m from, were called ‘the original Fab Four.'”
“But that is it. I am an adult with a job and I cannot remember if a logarithm is some kind of exponent, Kenny Loggins’ first album or a method of lumberjack birth control,” said Oliver. “I don’t know.”
Watch the video, embedded below: