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The unbreakable Kimmy Davis: The marriages, the martyrdom, the musical

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Davis' mugshot

There is much to enjoy about the saga of Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who loves marriage so much that she has had four of them and won’t share with the gays.

Because she is also a Bride of Jesus, her cause — as well as  her incarceration for being bad at her job — has given the God-botherers of America a real workout trying to make her into a good old-fashioned martyr like they used to make in the good old days of stonings and crucifixions and such and such.

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For Christian masculinist and yoga pants bête noire, Matt Walsh, the persecution of Kim Davis is another sign that America is going to H-E-double hockey sticks in a handbasket, and he is having the meltdown to prove it:

I mean, the rule of law? THE RULE OF LAW? Sorry for screaming, but I’m afraid my head might explode if I see or hear one more leftist use that term.

What follows is a Mad Libs of spittle-flecked Twitchy-esque outrage at the unfairness of it all without even a hint that, hey, maybe Jesus is just testing Matt. He (God, not Matt) works in mysterious ways like that, I am told.

Mollie Hemingway, who makes a living at The Federalist being all judge-y about how people are living their lives ALL WRONG, wants everyone to stop calling Davis — who has been accused of being a hypocrite when it comes to the God’s rules about marriage —  a man-collecting slut-whore. The way Mollie sees it, Davis left her wild ways behind her when she converted to Jesus-dom four years ago — so that stuff it is off-limits.

 Now, if you disagree with journalists on the marriage topic, you should be prepared for them to go after you. They are still taking their time investigating almost any angle associated with Planned Parenthood’s harvesting of organs from aborted children, mind you, but they wasted no time doing a deep dive into Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis’ past. Perhaps the most interesting thing about her past, given that she’s waging a (losing) religious liberty battle, is that she is apparently a recent convert to Christianity — her conversion took place “about four years ago,” according to her legal counsel.

Keep that in mind. She converted to Christianity about four years ago.

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As we all know, finding Jesus can white-out all past indiscretions including having kids out of wedlock and collecting husbands like they’re NASCAR commemorative plates.

Anyway, Mollie wants you all to stop slut-shaming Kim Davis. Slut-shaming is her gig anyway, saved for tramps who take nekkid pictures of themselves and whores who give it away for free before they get opposite marriage hitched by Kim Davis

On a happier note….

It would be sin against the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost if the below handiwork by writer James Trumm was lost in the churn and boil of so much being written about the previously obscure — but one for the ages like Ashley Todd — Kim Davis: Kentucky moralist, slacker and serial bride.

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Well played, dude…


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WATCH LIVE: Trump addresses the nation after Iran retaliatory missile strike

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President Donald Trump will address the nation Wednesday morning on Iran’s attack on two military bases in Iraq hosting U.S. Armed Forces. The missiles were a retaliatory strike in response to Trump’s decision to assassinate General Qassem Soleimani.

The White House had signaled the president would deliver his address Tuesday night, but walked that back and the president, insisting “All is well!” in a Tuesday night tweet promised to speak Wednesday morning.

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Here are 11 of the most punchable faces of 2017

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Remember back when 2016 began and the world held so much promise and then a bunch of people in the Midwest got mad at Hillary Clinton because she didn't visit their state fair, eat a corn dog and admire their butter cow so they decided to toss a match in the septic tank by voting for Donald Trump to "shake things up"?

That, among other reasons, is how we got to where we are now in Trump Year One: Like A Plague, But Kinda Worse.

It has been a very weird year compared to the past few to the point where someone like Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Zodiac Killer) is barely a blip on our screen because he seems sort of "meh" compared to the daily tsunami of Trump atrocities that have us drowning in depression -- and depending upon Robert Mueller and Zoloft (Ask your doctor if ZOLOFT is right for you) to pull us through.

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WATCH LIVE: Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds WH briefing as Trump squabbles with Gold Star families

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As President Donald Trump's administration squabbles with the family of Sgt. La David Johnson and Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-FL) over the president's ham-handed attempt to offer condolences to Johnson's widow, many people are failing to ask why U.S. Army Green Berets were in Niger at all.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders is expected to receive questions about Niger and more queries about the administration's decision to go on the warpath against Wilson with false charges about a 2015 speech.

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