Larry Wilmore mocked the ridiculous “will-he-or-won’t he” speculation by CNN anchors and reporters as they awaited Vice President Joe Biden’s announcement Wednesday on whether he would run for president.
“Why don’t you just wait five f*cking minutes?” Wilmore said. “Five minutes, just wait — that’s all you’ve got to do. He’s about to tell you. You don’t need to predict the news, you’re just supposed to report it after it happens. Before it happens, it’s not even news yet. You can’t ‘Minority Report’ the news.”
The vice president ended months of speculation by the Washington press corps and cable TV news by announcing that he would not seek the Democratic nomination, saying his family’s grieving process after losing eldest son Beau Biden to brain cancer had lasted too long for him to enter the race.
“I believe we’re out of time, the amount of time necessary to mount a winning campaign,” Biden said.
Wilmore joked that perhaps Biden should have spent more time “wooing” the campaign, perhaps even taking it out to dinner, rather than trying to “mount” it right off the bat.
“You know, show America you’re interested in the campaign before you go barreling towards mounting it,” Wilmore said.
Wilmore said Biden’s decision cleared a path for the eventual nominee, and the “Nightly Show” host made a bold prediction of his own.
“Linclon Chafee,” he said confidently, as the audience howled with laughter. “You heard it here first, b*tches.”
Watch the entire segment posted online by Comedy Central: