John Oliver goes nuclear in f*ck-filled tirade against Paris attackers: ‘F*ck these *ssholes sideways’
Last Week Tonight host John Oliver wasted no time to getting to the topic of the Paris terrorist attacks with a scathing F-bomb filled tirade on the perpetrators of the massacre.
“Sadly, we must begin with a few words about France which, on Friday, suffered the deadliest attack on its soil since World War II,” Oliver said as the show began. “Look — it’s hardly been 48 hours and much is still unknown, but there are a few things we can say for certain. And this is when it actually helps to be on HBO, where those things can be said without restraint. Because after the many necessary and appropriate moments of silence, I’d like to offer you a moment of premium cable profanity.”
“So here is where things stand: First, as of now, we know this attack was carried out by gigantic f*cking assholes — unconscionable, flaming assholes— possibly, possibly working with other f*cking assholes, definitely working in service of an ideology of pure assholery,” Oliver exclaimed. “Second, and this goes almost without saying: f*ck these assholes. F*ck them, if I may say, sideways.”
Oliver was just warming up as the audience cheered wildly.
“And third, it is important to remember nothing about what these assholes are trying to do is going to work. France is going to endure. And I’ll tell you why: If you’re in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good f*cking luck,” he continued. “Because go ahead! Bring your bankrupt ideology — they’ll bring Jean-Paul Sartre, Edith Piaf, fine wine, Gauloises cigarettes, Camus, Camembert, madeleines, macarons, Proust, and the f*cking croque-en-bouche. You’ve just brought a philosophy of rigorous self-abnegation to a pastry fight, my friends. You are f*cked!”
“That,” he said as he showed a picture a croque-en-bouche, “is a French freedom tower.”
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