Ted Cruz is surging in the polls, cruising to a 10-point lead in Iowa — and Larry Wilmore is mystified.
“There must be something wrong with that prompter,” he said, but his director informed him the teleprompter was perfectly fine.
“It’s not the equipment, Larry,” said Dre, the director. “I think the news is broken.”
Wilmore showed Cruz, the Republican senator from Texas, claiming during a Senate subcommittee hearing that “no significant data” supported the theory of global warming.
“Hmmm, no significant data?” Wilmore said, pulling out his iPhone. “Hey Siri? What’s the temperature today in New York City?”
Wilmore conceded that the recent unseasonably warm weather was irrelevant, but he said Cruz was absolutely wrong about climate change.
“You can’t say facts and evidence matter in your climate denial speech,” he said. “That’s like having an affair with the babysitter and in the middle of having sex you whisper to her, ‘Monogamy is very important to me.'”
Wilmore said he was creeped out by Cruz, who said he would “bear hug” his top two rivals, Donald Trump and Ben Carson, and “smother them with love.”
“Something is just off about this guy,” he said. “Smother them with love? Are you talking about affection or murder?”
The “Nightly Show” host was similarly creeped out by the GOP presidential candidate’s campaign ad that showed him “cooking” bacon by wrapping it around the barrel of a rifle and opening fire at a shooting range.
“Wow,” he said. “Do you know how small your dick has to be to do something like that? I don’t know guys, he’s just creepy — it’s his whole vibe.”
Watch the entire segment posted online by Comedy Central: