Heading into Tuesday night’s GOP debate, former HP CEO and Planned Parenthood “I saw a living fetus being de-brained” truther Carly Fiorina has a likability problem.
I’m not just talking about the 30,000 former HP employees she pink-slipped so she could ship their jobs overseas who hate hate hate her. I’m talking about the fact that nobody likes her — and not in the “everybody hates Ted Cruz, but at least he still polls well” kind of way.
Carly is just unlikeable and the polls reflect it, based upon her 2.3 percent standing the 2016 GOP presidential polls.
To put that in perspective, that is about half of where Jeb! Bush is polling — and we all know his campaign is stuck in a persistent vegetative state. Ironically.
So faced with what might be her last debate –based upon how much more she wants to debase herself by putting up with “you people” and reporters who ask her pesky “gotcha questions” — Carly’s campaign made her sit down with a bunch of puppies to make her seem “human” and “nice” and not a “horrifying presence that could suck the souls from a room full of toddlers with just a glance.”
At least that is what the focus group said.
It is questionable — from a political standpoint — for a candidate to say “dogs are better than cats,” even though all reasonable people can agree that it is indisputable fact of life and not even open for debate anymore.
But Carly had to be Carly, and she couldn’t just make nice with the puppies by doing baby talk. Oh, no. Snarly Carly had to bare her incisors from time to time and get her digs in.
For example, while holding two German Shepard puppies, she said, “ You know, President Obama ate one of your cousins. Vote Republican.”
How adorable. It may not be Carly dog-whistling (HA!) “Muslim, Muslim, Muslim!” but you get the general drift.
Also, too: “I like your little peace signs. Very cool. Our Republican primary voters might not like them,” and “Not even Obama has a cat”
“Someone on Twitter said that I reminded them of Cruella deVil. That is totally unfair” she said while petting a white dog. “Although your coat is exceptionally soft.”
Ha! Self-deprecating humor! Classic!
Nope. You’re still unlikable, Carly. Next time try kittens. Maybe with a little Sara McLachlan singing that sad angel animal song so people will send you money before your campaign is — mercifully — “put down.”
Dogs are better than cats. Carly Fiorina explains why:
Posted by IJ Review on Monday, December 14, 2015
WATCH LIVE: Trump addresses the nation after Iran retaliatory missile strike
President Donald Trump will address the nation Wednesday morning on Iran’s attack on two military bases in Iraq hosting U.S. Armed Forces. The missiles were a retaliatory strike in response to Trump’s decision to assassinate General Qassem Soleimani.
The White House had signaled the president would deliver his address Tuesday night, but walked that back and the president, insisting “All is well!” in a Tuesday night tweet promised to speak Wednesday morning.
Here are 11 of the most punchable faces of 2017
Remember back when 2016 began and the world held so much promise and then a bunch of people in the Midwest got mad at Hillary Clinton because she didn't visit their state fair, eat a corn dog and admire their butter cow so they decided to toss a match in the septic tank by voting for Donald Trump to "shake things up"?
That, among other reasons, is how we got to where we are now in Trump Year One: Like A Plague, But Kinda Worse.
It has been a very weird year compared to the past few to the point where someone like Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Zodiac Killer) is barely a blip on our screen because he seems sort of "meh" compared to the daily tsunami of Trump atrocities that have us drowning in depression -- and depending upon Robert Mueller and Zoloft (Ask your doctor if ZOLOFT is right for you) to pull us through.
WATCH LIVE: Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds WH briefing as Trump squabbles with Gold Star families
As President Donald Trump's administration squabbles with the family of Sgt. La David Johnson and Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-FL) over the president's ham-handed attempt to offer condolences to Johnson's widow, many people are failing to ask why U.S. Army Green Berets were in Niger at all.
White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders is expected to receive questions about Niger and more queries about the administration's decision to go on the warpath against Wilson with false charges about a 2015 speech.