You may have seen the commercials for Men’s Wearhouse, the dress clothes retailer, which end with the bearded CEO promising , “you’re going to like the way you look. I guarantee it.” But you almost certainly haven’t seen the ad for Congressmen’s Wearhouse… until now !
Because Congressmen’s Wearhouse (CMW) doesn’t exist, a least technically speaking. But a parody video from Big Bad Boris, satirizes the purchasing of politicians, and foresees a day when the falling price of candidates ushers in a whole new way of campaign-financing– cut-rate candidates for the budget-conscious consumer!
The mission of CMW is clear: “At Congressmen’s Warehouse, you don’t have to be a billionaire to buy a candidate. We welcome your dark money no matter what denomination it comes in,” including bitcoins, Apple Pay and unmarked singles. 2016 has seen the rise of crowdfunding (Bernie) and self-funding (Trump) as alternatives to the super pac. Congressmen’s Warehouse offers another alternative – niche-funding or personalized pandering. Now every citizen can buy their own candidate, selecting from a ready-made set of memes, dog whistles and hidden agendas to advance their interests and obsessions.
They offer congressmen “tailored to your agenda and pocketbook,” enabling customers to build their own standard-bearers out of the latest political styles and stances, from climate change denial, to second amendment fetishism, to transvaginal ultra-sounding.
Now that Marco Rubio has suspended his campaign, and will not be running for reelection in the senate, he’s a total bargain. But act fast: “This week only,” the CMW is offering “95% off on” the cisgendered restroom traditionalist.”
Trump aides scrambling to hide his ‘dumpster fire’ poll numbers to keep him from ‘flying into a rage’: report
According to a report from the Daily Beast, aides to Donald Trump are doing their best to keep him in the dark about his terrible poll numbers prior to November's election out of fear of his wrath.
With the president's poll numbers plummeting in a match-up with presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, White House staffers and campaign officials are trying to keep the president calm while at the same time working to turn around a re-election campaign that is floundering.
‘I have a son and I want you to meet him’: Anderson Cooper chokes up welcoming his baby to the world
CNN anchor Anderson Cooper announced on Thursday that he is now a father.
"It has been a difficult time in all of our lives and there are certainly many hard days ahead. It is, I think, especially important in these times of trouble to try to hold on to moments of joy and moments of happiness," Cooper said. "As we mourn the loss of loved ones, we're also blessed with new life and new love."
"On Monday, I became a father," Cooper revealed. "I am a dad, I have a son, and I want you to meet him.
He introduced Wyatt Morgan Cooper to CNN's viewers.
"He is sweet and soft and healthy and I am beyond happy. As a gay kid, I never thought it would be possible to have a child, and I am so grateful for all those who paved the way and for the doctors and nurses and all those involved in my son's birth."
Trump’s decision to turn on Brian Kemp is a warning to other GOP governors: Columnist
On Thursday, writing for The Washington Post, Paul Waldman wrote that President Donald Trump's decision to throw Gov. Brian Kemp (R-GA) under the bus should serve as a warning to other Republican governors: Stop trying to govern the way you think Trump wants you to, and govern the way public health needs you to.