You may have seen the commercials for Men’s Wearhouse, the dress clothes retailer, which end with the bearded CEO promising , “you’re going to like the way you look. I guarantee it.” But you almost certainly haven’t seen the ad for Congressmen’s Wearhouse… until now !
Because Congressmen’s Wearhouse (CMW) doesn’t exist, a least technically speaking. But a parody video from Big Bad Boris, satirizes the purchasing of politicians, and foresees a day when the falling price of candidates ushers in a whole new way of campaign-financing– cut-rate candidates for the budget-conscious consumer!
The mission of CMW is clear: “At Congressmen’s Warehouse, you don’t have to be a billionaire to buy a candidate. We welcome your dark money no matter what denomination it comes in,” including bitcoins, Apple Pay and unmarked singles. 2016 has seen the rise of crowdfunding (Bernie) and self-funding (Trump) as alternatives to the super pac. Congressmen’s Warehouse offers another alternative – niche-funding or personalized pandering. Now every citizen can buy their own candidate, selecting from a ready-made set of memes, dog whistles and hidden agendas to advance their interests and obsessions.
They offer congressmen “tailored to your agenda and pocketbook,” enabling customers to build their own standard-bearers out of the latest political styles and stances, from climate change denial, to second amendment fetishism, to transvaginal ultra-sounding.
Now that Marco Rubio has suspended his campaign, and will not be running for reelection in the senate, he’s a total bargain. But act fast: “This week only,” the CMW is offering “95% off on” the cisgendered restroom traditionalist.”
Fox News host Tucker Carlson and guest blame wildfires ravaging California on ‘woke’ culture
Fox News host Tucker Carlson and YouTube personality Dave Rubin on Tuesday attempted Tuesday to cast blame on the wildfires ravaging California on “woke” culture.
“PG&E strikes me as almost a metaphor for the destruction of the state,” Carlson said in reference to how some (though not all) of the California wildfires may have been caused by PG&E’s technical errors. He claimed that the company “doesn't really know anything about its own infrastructure” even though it “knows everything about the race of its employees.”
Chelsea Handler comes to Joe Biden’s defense during Real Time appearance with Bill Maher
Comedian Chelsey Handler defended former Vice President Joe Biden on Friday, during an appearance on HBO's "Real Time" with Bill Maher.
"I have to know what you think of Joe Biden and that whole thing," Maher said.
"I think Joe Biden is just a grandfather, you know what I mean? And he's old," Handler replied.
"I don't like comparing -- I don't like these stories of these women coming out and talking about a man smelling their hair or kissing the back of their head," she continued.
"I think it diminishes people who have actually experienced bullsh*t," Hander said.
Whether a sitting president can be indicted should be reexamined: former federal prosecutor
Former federal prosecutor Glenn Kirschner has reached a point that he thinks the policy of not indicting a sitting president should be readjusted for modern times.
In a PoliticsNation panel discussion, focused on Rep. Jerry Nadler's (D-NY) suggestion that he would be requesting documents from at least 60 people connected to President Donald Trump as part of broadening the investigation into possible crimes committed while running for office or while president.
"He has got legal exposure on so many fronts," said Kirschner. "Whether it is his fake charitable organization, his continuing criminal enterprise of the Trump Organization, whether it is an inauguration run amok, it looks like, taking illegal, foreign donations and doling out or promising goodness knows what to those people who donated. And it's his presidency."