Brilliant Twitter bot replaces every 'God' in Joel Osteen's tweets with something naughty
Joel Osteen (Photo via video screen capture)

Joel Dongsteen is on Twitter to impart some glorious wisdom to replace all that "God" stuff in pastor Joel Osteen's tweets. The famous Texas pastor with the bright pearly smile may bring thousands to Jesus on his televised church service each Sunday, however, his enlightenment doesn't come close to some of the tweets Dongsteen comes up with.


The automated twitter account removes every reference to "God" and replaces it with the phrase "your d*ck." The bot has been in existence since 2013 with hardly any of the notoriety it so richly deserves.

This one isn't actually far off from reality:

Some are so hilariously sexualized you wonder how the real Joel Osteen was even to tweet his own version:

This is likely the truth for most teenage boys.

And those showers will be golden.

It's true, your d*ck will always be right there in front of you. Literally.

Especially in times of loneliness:

Sometimes your d*ck has a mind of his own. Apparently, that's a good thing and you should let His wisdom guide you toward your own salvation.

The "rise and shine" effect is something I'm sure many men are familar with.

H/t: Patheos.