Ted Cruz didn't fair well in the GOP primary in New York on Tuesday and Stephen Colbert was eager to talk about it on "The Late Show" Wednesday night.
Cruz did so poorly in New York's primary that Ben Carson, who isn't even running anymore, beat him in one county. Proving once and for all that insulting the voters of an entire state of people with your "New York values" comments is not the way to garner votes.
"The clearest message coming out of New York last night was: Suck it, Ted Cruz," Colbert said to the audience's enthusiastic applause. "Suck our New York values!"
According to Colbert, Cruz only got 15 percent of the vote in the state overall. "And in one county he even lost to Ben Carson, who dropped out of the race a month ago. Though, to be fair, Dr. Carson may not be aware that he dropped out of the race. Shhhhhh," Colbert whispered to Carson's droopy-eye photo.
"But even though Cruz was beaten like a speed bag in a loose suit, at the end of the night Ted Cruz managed to keep it positive, and also kind of creepy." Colbert then ran a clip of Cruz's speech where he talked about "America lying down with her back on the mat."
The speech made it hard for Colbert not to giggle. "That is when America is at her best, lying down with her back on the mat, lights on and with a firm handshake and then back to your separate beds for some quiet weeping. If you know what I mean..." Yes, Stephen, yes we do.
Check out the full video below: