Conservatives freak because Obama's new house is located near a mosque
President Barack Obama laughs during a meeting in the Oval Office, Jan. 24, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Conservative media publications have come up with a lot of truly dumb stories about Obama being a secret Muslim over the years, but this latest one might just be the most boneheaded yet.

In case you haven't heard, the Obamas will be moving to an 8,200-square-foot mansion in the Kalorama neighborhood in Washington, D.C. after the president leaves office. The Obamas are staying in D.C. for a time so their daughter Sasha can finish up high school at Sidwell Friends School, which is less than a 10-minute drive away from their new house.

However, The Daily Caller notices that there's something else that's near the Obamas' new home: A mosque!

"The mammoth, multi-million-dollar mansion where President Barack Obama and his family will reportedly live after the first family exits the White House is located 1,096 feet from the Islamic Center of Washington — one of the largest mosques in the Western Hemisphere," the Caller breathlessly informs us. "The Islamic Center in our nation’s capital also provides help for families in need, holds wedding ceremonies, organizes language courses, offers counseling and makes available ample significant research material related to Islam."

The horrors!

A quick Google Maps search also reveals that there are a decent number of gay bars in the neighborhood as well, which means that conservatives' fictional version of Obama can indulge his secret homosexuality as well as his secret love of Islamic fundamentalism.