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Colbert: Clinton win like something seen in a ’sci-fi novel or any other country in the world’

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The Associated Press reported Hillary Clinton clinched the nomination Monday night, a day before primary elections were held in California, New Jersey, Montana and the Dakotas. It left many fans of Bernie Sanders complaining about disenfranchisement and the Clinton campaign furious that the media jumped the gun. That made it perfect for Stephen Colbert’s truth bomb on the “Late Show” election night.

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Colbert began highlighting the fact that Clinton is the first female nominee of a major political party. “It sends a powerful message to women that if you just work hard, someday you too can be vilified as an unlikable, machiavellian crone,” Colbert said.

He also said that it’s fitting Clinton is the first female nominee in the race against Donald Trump, because “he’ll be his party’s last nominee.”

The way that the AP decided to call the election for Clinton was by calling superdelegates and getting hard commitments for who they say they’re supporting. Once they got to the magic number, the AP announced Clinton would be the winner. “So, all you Bernie supporters who may be feeling disenfranchised, just calm down and remember the media and the superdelegates have been talking secretly and they decided it’s over. They know best. Okay? But good job, you guys! Great job! That should calm them down.”

The Clinton campaign anticipated announcing her victory after the election, “so when she does announce it, please, everyone, act like you didn’t see this coming, okay?”

On the eve of the election, an audio recording was released by Wellesley of Clinton’s commencement address she was voted to give by her fellow students in 1969. Despite being overwhelmingly supported in the vote to give the speech, “Bernie Sanders insists, ‘This isn’t over! I still have a path to giving that speech! I am building a time machine and I promise there will be a contested commencement!'” Colbert said in his best Sanders impression.

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Colbert quoted Clinton’s 1969 speech where she talked about the need for her fellow graduates to fight in politics to make the impossible possible. “And she has done it. She has made the impossible possible. She is a woman who has clinched the presidential nomination,” Colbert began. “That is something you could only see in a sci-fi novel or any other country in the world.”

Check out Colbert’s full commentary below, complete with the 1970’s photo of Burt Renolds naked in Cosmo:

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Elections 2016

Vietnamese women strive to clear war-era mines

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Inching across a field littered with Vietnam war-era bombs, Ngoc leads an all-women demining team clearing unexploded ordnance that has killed tens of thousands of people -- including her uncle.

"He died in an explosion. I was haunted by memories of him," Le Thi Bich Ngoc tells AFP as she oversees the controlled detonation of a cluster bomb found in a sealed-off site in central Quang Tri province.

More than 6.1 million hectares of land in Vietnam remain blanketed by unexploded munitions -- mainly dropped by US bombers -- decades after the war ended in 1975.

At least 40,000 Vietnamese have since died in related accidents. Victims are often farmers who accidentally trigger explosions, people salvaging scrap metal, or children who mistake bomblets for toys.

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Elections 2016

Chief Justice John Roberts issues New Year’s Eve warning to stand up for democracy

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In a progressive welcoming move, Chief Justice John Roberts issued his New Year's Eve annual report urging his fellow federal judges to stand up for democracy.

"In our age, when social media can instantly spread rumor and false information on a grand scale, the public's need to understand our government, and the protections it provides, is ever more vital," he wrote. "We should celebrate our strong and independent judiciary, a key source of national unity and stability."

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Trump’s next 100 days will dictate whether he can be re-elected or not — here’s why

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According to CNN pollster-in-residence Harry Enten, Donald Trump's next 100 days -- which could include an impeachment trial in the Senate -- will hold the key to whether he will remain president in 2020.

As Eten explains in a column for CNN, "His [Trump's] approval rating has been consistently low during his first term. Yet his supporters could always point out that approval ratings before an election year have not historically been correlated with reelection success. But by mid-March of an election year, approval ratings, though, become more predictive. Presidents with low approval ratings in mid-March of an election year tend to lose, while those with strong approval ratings tend to win in blowouts and those with middling approval ratings usually win by small margins."

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