According to Seth Meyers, all of the jokes made before the 2016 election have suddenly become true.
“If we elect Trump we’re going to end up fighting with Canada! Ha!” Meyers guffawed.
The only problem is that it almost came true. This week Donald Trump threatened to make good on his campaign promise to kill NAFTA. The move prompted a series of discussions in the news about “softwood lumber” and dairy prices.
Meyers swore that he would not use this opportunity to make a lot of penis jokes. “I’m just saying that Donald Trump does not want to be slapped with soft-Canadian wood so he’s clamping down on it.”
Trump’s Secretary of Commerce claimed that Canada was artificially driving down the cost of soft wood by subsidizing the industry. He called the official term for the tactic “stumpage.”
“This is all very confusing for Trump because ‘stumpage’ is his nickname for Donald Jr,” Meyers joked.
But the real kicker came from Trump’s phone call with the leaders of both Canada and Mexico, in which he was convinced to spin 180 degrees on his NAFTA promise.
“Something tells me this isn’t the first time Trump has had to pull out because of soft wood,” Meyers joked.
Watch the full video below:
Israel unearths remains of rare ancient mosque
Israeli archaeologists said Thursday they had unearthed the remains of a rare ancient rural mosque from the seventh and eighth centuries AD in the country's south.
The remains were discovered during preparations to construct a new building in the Bedouin town of Rahat, the Israel Antiquities Authority said.
It said the remains were of an open-air rectangular mosque with a mihrab, or prayer niche, facing Mecca.
The authority called it one of the earliest known rural mosques worldwide.
"From this period there are large known mosques in Jerusalem and in Mecca, but here we have evidence of an ancient house of prayer, which seems to have served the farmers who lived in the area," the authority said in a statement from the excavations' directors, Jon Seligman and Shahar Zur.
Meghan McCain feels victimized by Trump’s attacks on Omar: ‘You’re taking away my agency to criticize her’
Meghan McCain found a way to make herself the victim of President Donald Trump's racist screed against Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN).
The president has been telling the Minnesota Democrat to return to her home country Somalia, which she fled as a refugee at 10, and accused her of supporting al-Qaeda as his supporters chanted "send her back" at a North Carolina rally.
"It was really dystopian," McCain said. "I was trying to go out to dinner and ignore politics. My family is in town, and came home and saw it on Twitter and then saw it on TV, and look."
After news of Trump's racist rant spoiled her evening out with relatives, McCain said she realized that his remarks had robbed her of something else.
‘He’s lost his mind’: Lindsey Graham’s latest defense of Trump’s racist attacks leaves Americans sick to their stomach
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was dragged over the coals on Thursday morning for defending Donald Trump's increasingly racist attacks on Somalia-born Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) saying it was "love it or leave it" 1968 politics having nothing to do with race.
Speaking with reporters the morning after Trump incited rallygoers to chant "send her back" after he launched an ugly attack on the Democratic lawmakers, Graham said the president couldn't be a racist because he would never encourage the repatriation of a Somali immigrant if they were wearing a MAGA hat.
Graham's glib defense outraged Twitter users who had already thought the conservative senator had hit rock bottom when it came to defending the president.