Once homeless, infamous pornographer sets sights on White House
Published: Monday April 2, 2007
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Infamous pornographer Al Goldstein -- recently reported to be down on his luck, broke, and homeless -- has set his sights on the White House, according to a press release issued Monday.

"Driven to declare his candidacy by his tradition of public service in New York as champion of the first amendment, and with a New Yorker's rage at Republican anti-sex, pro-war policies, Goldstein hopes his candidacy will to attract sponsors to pay," reads the release.

A Korean War veteran, Goldstein launched his pornographic magazine Screw in 1968 and hosted New York public access show Midnight Blue. Goldstein's company went into bankruptcy in 2004.

"Goldstein, who three short years ago was homeless, broke and now lives on his social security, chronicled his fall from grace in his recent autobiography, I Goldstein," read his release. "Ideal experience, he says, for the nation's top job."

Goldstein has launched a campaign website where he makes the following campaign pledges: "Removing the "o" from country," "Universal AL-Care, which will provide daily government subsidized cunnilingus for women, and a damn good cigar for every male citizen," "Will continue to hate George and love bush," and "Will try his famed tongue on Nancy's Pelosi."

Goldstein further elaborates on his political beliefs on his personal blog.

"Our president, right before our eyes, is raping the Justice Department along with his bozo flunkies Alberto Gonzales and wigger-wannabee Karl Rove, who traumatically proved that whites should never, ever dance," Goldstein writes.

He continues, "From stem cell research to the FBI spying on law abiding citizens, to the corruption that makes every patriotic American like you and I want to regurgitate; Bush’s turds are like his policies – corny, twisted and compacted."

Goldstein released an autobiography in 2006 titled I, Goldstein: My Screwed Life.

According to his release, Goldstein is taking his presidential run seriously. Said Goldstein, "I hope to be funny, without being a joke. My whole life has led me to this moment. I only want to make people smile, and maybe think a little bit before they vote."