Colbert undergoes anal exam in honor of Glenn Beck
Fox's Glenn Beck recently asked viewers to look in his eyes to see the truth. Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert treated his audience to a view of an anal scope so they could see a different kind of truth.
"In the milky way of punditry, there are white dwarfs and there are flaming balls of gas," Colbert said, introducing the segment. "But tonight I'm proud to announce there's a new worm hole to a parallel world. Glenn Beck has a new show on Fox News and it is great! Last Monday's show, Glenn climbed into his genius cannon and lit the fuse."
After showing a clip of Beck asking if his viewers knew why they screamed at their television screens, Colbert suggested that they were "terrified of Glenn Beck's crazy eyes."
"What a master stroke of innovation!" Colbert exclaimed. "He's reinvented the medium of television by melding it with the nightmares of opium addicts."
Colbert piled on the "praise."
"Nation, Glenn Beck is going unappreciated in his time!" Colbert intoned. "The world was not ready for his crazy eye closeups...except for those parts of the world where they lick hallucinogenic frogs."
Colbert said he agreed with Beck that it's important to trust your gut.
"So I say forget looking into each other's eyes," Colbert said, "we need to look into each other's guts and it starts tonight!"
Orderlies dressed in blue uniforms set up a curtain on Colbert's desk which blocked off the bottom half of his body, and a doctor went to work behind it as the phaux Comedy Central pundit struggled to deliver his lines. A split screen showed a monitor with live video of the "internal exam."
"We need to take a stand," Colbert said. "I myself won't be standing for days."
Colbert concluded his segment "So, America, take a good, hard look at your gut and ask yourself how far up your own ass are you willing to go? Because rest assured...rest assured, ladies and gentlemen, for me and Glenn Beck the answer is all the way!"
This video is from Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, broadcast Feb. 11, 2009.
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