Colbert: Blaming the woman remains an 'ironclad alibi'
David Edwards and Nick Juliano
Published: Thursday August 14, 2008

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While Attorney General Michael Mukasey says he has no interest in prosecuting any of the former Justice Department officials accused of illegally and improperly inserting politics into hiring decisions, Comedy Central host Stephen Colbert offers a better solution.

"You see, Muskasey knows throwing the people responsible for this mess in jail in jail won't fix this mess," the Colbert Report host said Wednesday night. "There's a better solution, and it's tonight's word. Blame Monica Goodling."

The straight-faced Colbert said the former Justice Department White House liaison and Bush sycophant accused of weeding out potential federal prosecutors based on their political leanings or sexual orientation could only have acted on her own accord in inserting politics into the Department that is supposed to rise above politics.

"Somehow Goodling got the idea to use politics in hiring decisions with out -- and this is important -- without any of her superiors' knowledge," he said. ("They were too busy drafting torture memos," read the text alongside Colbert.) Colbert called Goodling an "ironclad alibi" for the beleaguered department.

While the Justice Department's politicization probe should stop at Goodling, we know she can't be blamed for all the administration's fault, Colbert said. For example, the abuses at Abu Ghraib were the fault of Lyndie England.

Colbert also listed other women that could be blamed for various "crimes" or wrongdoings. Since Valerie Plame "sent her husband to not find evidence Saddam was buying yellowcake uranium, so we can also blame her for there not being WMDs." Paris Hilton is also responsible for narcissism infecting politics, Colbert claims.

"Attorney General Mukasey, make sure you make an example of Monica Goodling," he said. "Because while it is important that we never have this type of abuse again, it is far more important that we have someone expendable to blame."

This video is from Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, broadcast August 13, 2008.

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