Colbert: McCain camp a 'flaming bag of dog poo'
David Edwards and Stephen C. Webster
Published: Thursday October 30, 2008

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On his Wednesday night show, Stephen Colbert, host of Comedy Central's Colbert Report, mocked Sen. McCain's campaign, describing it as a "flaming bag of dog poo, dropped on America's doorstep."

The host further goaded McCain by endorsing Obama, then urging the GOP candidate to show that he "knows where America wants to go" and also endorse the Democratic senator.

Pretending the whole Republican campaign has been nothing more than a lead-up to one gigantic 'zinger,' Colbert recounted McCain's many laughter-inducing missteps, from broken promises on taxes to the selection of his vice presidential candidate.

"Oh! Oh! Remember the time he picked Sarah Palin?" asked the host, before falling out of his chair in an extended fit of laughter. "I totally get it now! She's totally unqualified, and he's so old! There's a really good chance she'd be president.

"Oh my God ... Oh my God, that is genius," he said, sitting back in his chair. "It all makes sense. I finally understand why the entire McCain campaign has seemed like a flaming bag of dog poo dropped on America's doorstep. Sir, you are good!"

Then, echoing similar moves by his "fellow, prominent conservatives," Colbert announced his endorsement of Obama for president.

"I know that this is shocking, and I can tell that you're angry," he said.

Explaining that his fellow conservatives have been soaking up too much of the media limelight by endorsing Obama, Colbert reasoned that it's time to be "associated with a winner."

Plus, he added: "Endorsing Obama means I'll be on his good side when I apply for a job running the combine at the new national farm collective."

"Of course folks, I just want to be clear," he backtracked. "That does not mean I am voting for him. I am not crazy, alright?"

"No," continued the host. "I am voting for John McCain. He may be in an uphill struggle in these final days, but I believe he can still win. He just has to do something to prove that he has the judgment to lead, and knows where this country wants to go."

Snapping his fingers, Colbert announced: "You know what? I've got it. Senator McCain? You need to endorse Barack Obama."

This video is from Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, broadcast October 29, 2008.

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