Bill Maher’s message for the Class of 2045: ‘The world is your oyster — but the oysters are dead’
Bill Maher ended Friday’s episode of Real Time with a message for not only this year’s college graduates, but the Class of 2045.
“I’d love to tell you kids that the world is your oyster — but the oysters are all dead,” said Maher, who delivered his message from the future — inside a climate-controlled dome. “Along with almost all species. But when that happened, did we give up and just start eating jellyfish? Well yes, of course we did.”
Clad in a silver cap and gown, Maher sought to remind the outgoing graduates of the resilient society in which they lived.
“Did we panic during the Zika epidemic of 2018? No,” he argued. “And many of the pinheaded babies born that year have gone on to become fine Republican congressmen.”
Maher, who was rejected by several Muslim students when the University of California-Berkeley invited him to speak at its commencement ceremony in 2014, was full of similarly “cheerful” advice for the Class of 2016.
“Kids, you’re not the future. You can’t be anything you want to be,” he said. “And the only way you can follow your dreams ‘wherever they take you’ is if your dreams involve the grease trap at Chipotle.”
Watch Maher’s address, as posted online on Friday, below.