Blood Clots Won't Stop the Conspiracy Theorists

Unfortunately, Hillary Clinton's health problems have gone from bad to worse, as she's been re-hospitalized after a stomach virus caused a fainting spell that caused a concussion earlier this month. Now she's got a blood clot, and sensible people whose minds haven't been degraded beyond compassion by wingnuttery are concerned. As noted by Scott Lemieux, the Wingnutteria (led by Glenn Reynolds) have been accusing Clinton of faking her previous health scares to avoid testifying about putting birth control in the water supplycreating vaccines that create autismfaking the moon landing Benghazi, and as of this morning, Glenn Reynolds and Ann Althouse are continuing to issue this claim. Here's Althouse, channeling drunken wingnut rantings of the 90s about Vince Foster:

With all that assurance that Hillary Clinton would testify, later that day, we heard the news that Hillary Clinton had entered the hospital with a blood clot. We weren't told the site of said blood clot. Was it her brain (recently concussed)? Was it her leg (where she had a blood clot back in 1998)? The former is a big deal, the latter, not so much. Why not specify the site, since it make such a big difference, medically? Oh, but we're told we must not display any skepticism, any hint of suspicion that the SOS is trying to avoid having to testify about Benghazi. The woman is ill. Only a clod would say a clot was a plot.

It's worth noting that most conspiracy theorists identify as "skeptics", but of course they're doing the opposite of skepticism, which requires evidence to support extraordinary and implausible claims, such as the claim that hundreds of people could come together to help Secretary Clinton fake a series of illnesses without a single person blowing the whistle. Remember: Bill Clinton couldn't even keep the lid on an affair that had only two witnesses to the actual acts of it. Althouse may feel entitled to full information on demand of any Clinton body part she desires, but that doesn't actually mean doctors have to violate federal law to give it to her.

Of course, wingnuttery nowadays is entirely dependent on the asinine belief that widespread conspiracies are a daily occurrence. These folks believe that thousands of scientists worldwide have been in cahoots for decades to perpetuate the false claim that global warming is real for no other reason than a vague hatred of capitalism, and that not one has ever thought to blow the whistle on this evil scheme. Marshaling the State Department and the staff of a major hospital into a conspiracy theory seems like tiddlywinks compared to that.

But riddle me this, wingnuts: If Secretary Clinton is such an evil mastermind that she can repeatedly bend so many people to her will with full confidence that not a one will ever blow the whistle, why couldn't she just get up and say whatever the hell she wants under oath if she did testify? Seems like a conspiracy of one would be easier to pull off than repeated faked hospitalizations. Why do you believe someone who would supposedly create one elaborate scheme after another to avoid testifying would suddenly start spilling truths only she knows under oath? Do you believe that taking an oath is like a magic spell that causes the person who did it to be incapable of lying? (Not that I think she has anything to lie about, honestly, just curious what the fuck they think is going on here.) If that's so, why did you demand that Bill Clinton be impeached for perjury?

So many questions. But in the meantime, the reality-based community wishes Hillary Clinton a speedy recovery.