Jon Stewart slams old, white, and lazy new Congress: 'We are doomed'

Daily Show host Jon Stewart teed off on the new Congress on Tuesday, mocking lawmakers for everything from their unpopularity to their lack of productivity to their choice to come back to work on noon on a Tuesday.

"Are you f*cking serious? Noon. You had to get there at noon," he said. "You know what? Normally, that would make me mad. But since Congress probably isn't going to be doing anything anyway, why not get a late start? Hell, why not just serve them legislation in bed, for God's sake."

That laziness, Stewart argued, was part of the reason Congress enjoys a 14 percent approval rating, despite a 95 percent re-election rate.

"It's the same disapproval-to-recurrency ratio currently enjoyed by the Herpes virus," he said. "Herpes: it's like Congress on your d*ck."

Even though incoming Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) was wearing his "festive swearing-in shell," Stewart said, he was disturbed to find that several new committee chairs, including Environment and Public Works committee head Jim Inhofe (R-OK), are at least 78 years old.

"Why do I get the idea these chairs are motorized and slowly ascend staircases?" he asked, before promising he would not be "ageist."

However, Stewart couldn't help but be alarmed by the fact that Inhofe is a climate change denier.

"We are doomed," Stewart shouted, before slipping in another jab at Inhofe's age. "In his defense, it's hard to believe in global warming when you always feel drafty."

Watch Stewart's commentary, as posted online on Tuesday, below.