I grew up with a raving alcoholic.To call his behavior erratic is to engage in understatement for dramatic effect.
My dad was in the Navy, assigned to one of the submarines of the Pacific Fleet in Oahu Hawaii, which meant long periods of welcomed absence. But whenever the submarine was docked, he was home, where he vacillated between two states of drunk: wet drunk and dry.
If given a choice between the two, I’d have chosen wet.
Dry drunk behavior is universal
Our prized family possession, after a pink and brown conch shell from Oahu, was a wooden coocoo clock. Hand-carved to look like a bird house, it was dark stained, complete with gingerbread-trimmed gable roof and hanging metal pine cone weights (tree house. you get it.) The house was about two feet long, ten inches wide, and every hour, on the hour, little green shutters would draw back to let a beautiful blue bird pop out, chirping.
My dad hated that bird.
I could always gauge whether it was a wet drunk or dry drunk week by what he did at the top of the hour.If he merely yelled obscenities at the chirping bird, it was a wet drunk, Pabst-soaked day and the ugly exchange would end when the bird went back inside. But if my dad threw something at the bird, it was a dry drunk day, which meant the safest place to be was anywhere else.
I’ve learned since then that when he wasn’t actually drunk, my dad was what’s known as a ‘dry drunk.’ October Road, a publication about substance use, says that dry drunks, despite their sobriety, typically continue to behave in destructive ways if they “have not fully embraced recovery.” Dry drunk doesn’t necessarily imply relapse, but it suggests “a lack of personal growth and mental or emotional recovery.”
Pete Hegseth’s seething anger feels familiar
“Angry lack of personal growth” should be tattooed on Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s forehead. Following the Signal fiasco, when Hegseth got off the plane at the Pearl Harbor-Hickam base in Honolulu, (coincidentally where my dad was stationed), a reporter asked him about the Signal breach, specifically, how an editor from The Atlantic was added to a chat about attacking Houthis in Yemen.
Hegseth spewed outrage, as if concern for servicemembers whose lives he put at risk infringed his right to breathe. He jacked up and down on his heels, leered forward and scrunched his face, going in for the pre-emptive attack: “So you’re talking about a deceitful and highly discredited so-called journalist who (has) made a profession of pedaling hoaxes time and time again.” He looked away from the camera, indignant, looked back, flexed his shoulders like a boxer in the ring and said, “(The editor of The Atlantic) is a guy who peddles in garbage. This is what he does.”
After a few more insults, he segued into victimhood: “You see, we’ve been dealing with four years of deferred maintenance (from Biden).” He left unsaid that the attacks failed to achieve their only goal: deterring the terrorist group, which means Houthis are still launching near-daily missiles at Israel, and most shipping traffic is still being redirected.
Hegseth closed with an adamant declaration, disproved when the chat transcript was released, that, “NOBODY was texting war plans and that’s all I have to say.” With that, he turned and walked away from his personal version of my father’s hell: a flock of blue birds chirping with microphones.
Hegseth needs treatment, not command of the world’s most lethal force
To his credit, Hegseth has never denied being an alcoholic. It’s hard to see how he could, given the litany of colleagues who said they’d seen him drunk to the point of passing out.
Before he was confirmed, Hegseth was a talking head on Fox and Friends, where colleagues reported smelling alcohol on him before he went on air. Those same people said he did Fox’s version of “news” while he was hungover. They told NBC News that when they smelled alcohol on him in the studio, “Everyone would be talking about it behind the scenes before he went on air.”
Another report surfaced that during Hegseth’s service as president of Concerned Veterans for America (2013 to 2016), he was repeatedly intoxicated even while acting in his official capacity. Witnesses there said he frequently drank to the point of “needing to be carried out of the organization’s events.”
Dry drunks are angry, aggressive and dangerous
In one of his many reckless acts of revenge against America, Trump put Hegseth in charge of the world’s most lethal military force. During his confirmation, after proof of his alcoholism surfaced, Hegseth vowed to quit drinking if he was confirmed. His reflexive dry drunk anger over having to answer questions about Signalgate suggests, at least to me, that he’s keeping his vow.
But passing-out drunk is a serious problem, and, as any adult child of an alcoholic can tell you, the problem doesn’t go away just because you stop drinking. Emotional and psychological symptoms, including irritability, dishonesty, aggression, blaming others, mood swings and self-pity can remain for years--sometimes for life-- if the person does not fully engage in recovery. Already, these characteristics are on full display whenever Hegseth faces criticism; perhaps Trump’s narcissism manifests similarly.
Trump and his entire cabinet of clownishly unqualified people may be cosplaying in their roles, but wars are real. Combat fatality is real. Undisciplined ignorance at the highest level is dangerous.
Here’s hoping, for members of the US military, Americans, and all the singing bluebirds of the world, that Hegseth quickly gets some help.
Sabrina Haake is a 25+ year federal trial attorney specializing in 1st and 14th A defense.Her columns are published in Alternet, Chicago Tribune, MSN, Out South Florida, Raw Story,Salon,Smart News and Windy City Times. Her Substack, The Haake Take, is free.