Things You Forgot To Mention On The Honeymoon

Not that I'm saying that we should judge John McCain's ability to govern based on his relationship with his wife, but if we were, they sure are a couple of creepy liars.

She told the well-worn story of how they both fudged their ages when they met, she making herself four years older and he making himself four years younger and said they didn't find this out until "we applied for a marriage license." She shared the story she has told many times of her addiction nearly 20 years ago to prescription painkillers, which she said her husband did not know about until after her parents confronted her and she had kicked the habit.

And she told of how she decided to conquer her fear of flying in anticipation of her husband's 1986 Senate race. She knew she'd be flying all over the state in a tiny plane, she said, and it petrified her. She went to flight school, earned her pilot's license and bought an airplane -- all without ever telling him, she said, eliciting shocked titters from Leno's audience.

"She's a problem solver," says Cindy's friend Harper. "That is a strong way to get over fears."

"Problem solver" is one way to say it. "Fundamentally disconnected from her husband" is another.

There's something profoundly not at all right about a couple who hide major, life-altering facts about themselves from each other. There's a charm, I suppose to the fact that they felt the need to tell identical lies to each other ("Hey, I don't have herpes either!"), but the fact that she felt the need to hide both her addiction and her fears from her husband doesn't say much good about the relationship. You know, were I to be like other major commentary institutions and decide that the minutiae of a candidate's personal lives gave us the information we truly need to decide if they can face off against the drug-addled wife of the White House - the world.