'Absolute nonsense': Columnist slams GOP over bill to ban 'playing dress-up' in schools

Texas Republicans are pushing a bill that would prohibit "non-human behaviors" in school — and it would effectively create a regime prohibiting kids from playing dress-up or just pretending in ways kids always do, wrote Amanda Marcotte in a scathing analysis for Salon published on Monday.

State Rep. Stan Gerdes introduced a bill, known as the Forbidding Unlawful Representation of Roleplaying in Education (FURRIES) Act, based on a years-long hoax that kids are sexually identifying as animals and being allowed by public school teachers to relieve themselves in litter boxes. There is no documented case of this happening anywhere, and the closest real thing that has ever happened to this appears to be a Colorado school district that provided cat litter "go-buckets" for kids to use in the event of an emergency lockdown like a school shooting.

A prominent Democratic lawmaker recently called out the bill as "creepy" and obsessive over children's behavior — and it's even worse than that, Marcotte wrote.

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"The bill purports to ban 'non-human behaviors' in school, a list that includes 'using a litter box for the passing of stool,' 'barking, meowing, hissing, or other animal noises,' 'licking oneself' and an 'outward display' of 'features that are non-human,'" she wrote. "There's also a helpful list of such features, including fake tails, 'animal-like' ears and fur, whether fake or real, which could certainly cramp the style of those who enjoy fuzzy outerwear in cold weather."

The obvious flaw, she noted, is that dressing up as other animals is a uniquely human pastime — and while litter boxes in schools are a hoax, kids pretending and "playing dress-up" is an innocent and common part of school life.

"Everything about this bill is based on false claims and absolute nonsense," she wrote.

Not only are there no examples of kids "identifying as animals," but child "furries" are "not a thing because it's both impossible and redundant. Enjoying cartoons, playing games where you sometimes pretend to be an animal and sleeping with your 'stuffie' are nearly universal interests for the playground set. 'Furries,' by definition, are people who still do that stuff after growing up."

The real purpose here, she wrote, is to codify panic against LGBTQ inclusion in schools, which the "furry" hoax is used to bolster.

"If a group of second-graders want to play 'My Little Pony' during recess, or act out an episode of 'Paw Patrol,' they'd better do it on one of their allotted five days a year!" wrote Marcotte. "This is an especially ludicrous example of how anti-trans panic serves as a pretext for stripping away creativity and free expression from virtually everybody, regardless of their gender or sexual identity."