'I am new at this and I am learning': SNL buries Trump's bumbling attorney Alina Habba
"Saturday Night Live" kicked off its 2024 season by introducing cast member Chloe Fineman as Donald Trump's much-derided attorney Alina Habba who began by saying of her legal skills, "I am new at this and I am learning."
From there, Trump, played by James Austin Johnson, took over the proceedings by acknowledging Habba is "the worst lawyer I’ve ever had, which is quite an accomplishment," before sniping at the assembled lawyers behind him and stating, "This is the bottom of the barrel, folks, this is who said yes. I’m in the lead for president and this is the best I can get. Feels like a red flag. Well, you’re not getting paid, by the way. You know that, of course you do."
Addressing speculation that he is sliding into dementia, he continued, "As you can see, I am doing very well cognitively. Doing great with cognitive. I think I’m doing great with cognitive. I’m more cognitive than ever,” before adding, "The doctors said, ‘Sir, you have to be in the top 99 percent of all the concussion and dementia people we give this test to.' I said, ‘Wow, I guess I’m very good at recognizing elephants. Who knew?’ And now we’re here."
Referencing Trump recently telling Iowa Republicans to go caucus even if they were deathly ill, he added, "My people love me. I got the old people. They’re waiting in the snow for 2 hours to vote for Trump. We just need them to stay alive until November; stay alive until November. Just pull that lever and drop dead. Why? Because I am sent by God, and God has a plan for me, or whatever.”
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