I have newlywed friends in their 20s who recently bought a small house and then added spacious dining and family rooms. When I jokingly asked how they could afford such lavish renovations, the husband was quick to reply, “Her dad paid. When it comes to his baby girl, he spares no expense.”
When I heard the news yesterday that Senate Republicans proposed a $1 billion, taxpayer-funded, plan to “secure” Trump’s ballroom, I thought of my happy, well-housed friends. Because when it comes to their baby girl, the GOP Congress gives Trump everything desired.
Republican lawmakers have largely abandoned their constitutional role as a check on the executive branch, effectively granting baby girl Trump a mandate to govern by fiat. That doesn’t mean buying their baby girl an actual Fiat, but instead granting permission to illegally accept the world’s most luxurious jet from Qatar, and recently described as “notably opulent” and valued at approximately $400 million.
Coincidentally, the jet carries roughly the same price tag as Trump’s “privately” funded ballroom, which clearly is no longer the case. Don’t be fooled by the term “security.” That money is going toward construction, guaranteed
So what becomes of the $400 million in private donations for the ballroom? Trump’s private bank account will continue to bulge at the seams.
The GOP’s surrender to baby girl Trump is most evident in the Senate’s rubber-stamping of controversial and highly, highly unqualified Cabinet secretaries (Way too many to list here), along with the use of the “nuclear option” to bypass traditional rules and confirm over 100 executive branch nominees as a single bloc. All of them are surely unqualified as well.
By allowing the administration to bypass oversight and dismantle federal agencies without resistance, leadership like Speaker Mike Johnson has explicitly signaled that the legislative role is now one of capitulation rather than deliberation, prioritizing baby girl loyalty over doing what’s right and abiding by the law.
Congressional GOP members are sparing no expense or rule to give baby girl everything desired.
The most dangerous example, of course, is the GOP’s refusal to enforce the War Powers Act as the 60-day deadline for military action in Iran passed on May 1, 2026. The safety and security of U.S. troops come second to pleasing baby girl.
Despite the conflict resulting in American casualties and billions in costs, Republican leaders like Senate Majority Leader John Thune have deferred to the White House’s legally dubious claim that a temporary ceasefire “terminated” the war, thus resetting the clock on congressional approval.
This pattern of capitulation also extends to massive tax cuts through the “One Big Beautiful Bill Act,” which only benefits the spoiled and rich friends of baby girl Trump.
And, yesterday. Just wow. The goings on in the Oval Office also showed how baby girl Trump is not only spoiled in wealth and finery, but in adulation and praise. In one of the most laughable moments in recent memory, HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., another grotesque gift to baby girl, spoke about reinstating the Presidential Fitness Test (that is a whole other story), praising the physical stamina of the cabinet and stating many could complete a 50-mile hike.
When RFK Jr. did not immediately mention baby girl Trump, the interruption came quickly: “What about me? You didn’t mention my name.” RFK Jr. responded pathetically, claiming Trump could complete the hike because “this guy walks nine miles a day…on the golf course every weekend.”
I’m sorry, but there are no images of Trump walking a course. That is too strenuous for baby girl, who is always, always pictured in a golf cart wearing frumpy clothing.
Yesterday’s photo-op announcement looked like one of Trump’s Cabinet meetings that devolve into televised displays of sycophancy, where high-ranking officials humiliate themselves with flattery for their petulant, sleepy, baby girl.
Whether it is Attorney General Pam Bondi’s hyperbolic claim that the president saved the lives of 75% of the population, or Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer marveling at a banner of Trump’s “big, beautiful face” - baby girl is a pretty girl - outside the Labor Department, the pattern of adulation is sickeningly unmistakable.
But alas, baby girl Trump is prickly. Despite the coddling from Bondi and Chavez-DeRemer, baby girl grew fussy and asked them to leave the gilded castle. That means they won’t be attending the ribbon-cutting for the lavish, $1 billion taxpayer-financed ballroom. Their flattery was for naught.
And baby girl was particularly naughty yesterday, showing off a potty mouth in front of schoolchildren surrounding baby girl’s playpen, or what used to be called the resolute desk.
In a jarring display of repulsiveness, baby girl Trump was potty-mouthed, turning a fitness ceremony into a venue for R-rated language, lecturing a room of children on the “sick” realities of nuclear war and railing against transgender athletes and “mutilation” in a rambling that felt like a scene from an offensive Quentin Tarantino movie, and not suitable for an actual baby girl.
Thankfully, my friend whose father paid for home renovations isn’t a spoiled brat. But many children who are excessively indulged grow into insufferable adults. Clearly, Trump’s parents, the loathsome Fred and Mary, were overindulgent with luxuries for their baby girl son.
Baby girl is turning 80 next month and remains as peevish, irritable, and pampered as ever. There has been little change since the days of the bone-spur boo-boo.
So for those who weren’t treated like a baby girl as children, or as adults, and who understand the value of humility and hard work, it’s time to add another expense to already stretched budgets strained by escalating gas and grocery prices.
We will have to make room to pay for baby girl Trump’s new ballroom, while cutting back everywhere else.