Why Won't Obama Just Give Them A Sex Act To Impeach Him Over?

Via Digby. As with Bill Clinton before him, conservatives have been casting around for some kind of reason that Obama needs to be impeached since roughly the beginning of his administration, and, as with Bill Clinton before him, the desperate digging has only increased during the second term. As with Clinton, most of the attempts are laughable, amounting to nothing more than empty code words that conservatives will hope somehow snowball into an actual scandal. With Clinton, it was "Whitewater" and with Obama it's "Benghazi", and with both it's idiotic. But they got lucky with Clinton, in that he got a blow job, and blow jobs are something that are both real and easily understood by the American public. Obama, being obstinate, has not provided the right with some adulterous sex that is guaranteed to dominate the news cycle and result in the pretext for an impeachment. The desperation for that has grown to the point where someone just decided to make one up.

The "mistress"? Socialism. No, really. It's uploaded to some financial firm that is clearly being run by idiots, so do not invest with them.

It seems like a waste of time to even try to analyze how one would decide that Obama is having a love affair with socialism that involves metaphorically fucking socialism. It's clearly just a pure expression of the combination of looniness, barely sublimated racism and classism, and sexual obsession that characterizes right wing America. But what is really sad here is how badly they want that sex scandal. Conservatives may scream "Benghazi!" morning, noon, and night, but obviously, their heart isn't in it. Like a man married to a woman he no longer loves who is going through the motions while dreaming only of his mistress, conservatives try to pretend they think this Benghazi thing has legs but really, in their hearts, just want Obama to be caught with his pants down. Then they could really go to town, doing what they do best: Conducting a hypocritical bout of posturing like they're the protectors of morality because they think sex is icky.

Yes, doing that would inevitably mean bleeding out a bunch of their own politicians whose own adulteries would be dutifully reported by the press. Yes, it would probably, as it did Clinton, start to make people like Obama more because they would start to consider how no one has a sex life that could withstand this kind of scrutiny. None of that matters. This is an emotional thing for the right. They crave the opportunity to make hay out of an enemy's sex life, and they don't care about the consequences. That Obama won't give them a chance is clearly painful. So painful that they've started to create fan fiction pretending that they get to have the sex scandal they almost surely will never get to have.