'Fell asleep a lot': Biden blasts birthday boy Trump with list of 78 'accomplishments'

Naps, bankruptcies, business failures, impeachments, lawsuits, scandals, election losses and criminal charges: Former President Donald Trump has one such "accomplishment" for every year of his life, according to President Joe Biden.

And Biden should know — he counted.

Biden's campaign on Friday sent their best wishes to Trump -- the presumptive Republican nominee who lost to the current president in 2020 and has since been convicted of criminal charges -- on his 78th birthday.

"We know how important it is to Donald to be #1," writes Biden-Harris 2024 Spokesperson James Singer. "So, to celebrate, we thought we would compile 78 of Trump’s historic… 'accomplishments.'"

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The email also includes a photograph of the former president that the News Corp. tabloid the Sun described as a "fresh look" and photographer Hamish Mitchell described as "terrifying."

Trump frequently mocks Biden for his age, despite the fact that he would become the second oldest person ever elected to the White House should he win in November.

But seldom do Trump's mockeries include numerical lists, supporting media coverage from the Washington Post, or references to four criminal convictions, eight political allies sentenced to prison, six bankruptcies and 34 counts of falsifying business records to cover up hush money paid to an adult film star Stormy Daniels.

As you might have already guessed, Biden's does:

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1. Donald fell asleep – a lot
2. Donald went bankrupt
3. Then went bankrupt again
4. Then went bankrupt again
5. Then went bankrupt again
6. Then went bankrupt again
7. Then went bankrupt again
8. Donald failed as a casino owner
9. Donald failed as an airline, university and hotel owner.
10. Donald failed at creating a board game and a magazine.
11. Donald launched his political career on the racist lie Barack Obama wasn’t born in America
12. Donald called for the death penalty – and still won’t apologize after their exoneration – for 5 innocent Black and Latino teenagers
13. Donald was accused of saying the N-word
14. Donald was sued by the Justice Department for racial discrimination
15. Donald became the first Presidential candidate to say there’d be a “bloodbath” if he lost
16. Donald failed to lead our country during COVID and suggested Americans inject themselves with bleach
17. Donald said there were “very fine people” among the crowd of white nationalists and neo-Nazis who chanted “Jews will not replace us” in Charlottesville
18. Donald dreamed of a “unified Reich” if he was to win in November
19. Donald called veterans who gave their lives for our country “suckers” and “losers”
20. Donald downplayed servicemembers’ concussions as “headaches”
21. Donald floated the idea of executing the Joint Chiefs Chairman
22. Donald was impeached in 2019
23. Donald was impeached again in 2021
24. Donald was found liable for sexual abuse
25. Donald was accused by 26 women of sexual misconduct
26. Donald bragged about his building on 9/11
27. Donald lied over 30,570 times as president to the American people
28. Donald cheated at golf
29. Donald’s “Trump Org.” was convicted for failing to pay its taxes
30. Donald gave a tax handout to the rich and corporations that failed to deliver for Americans
31. Donald suggested windmills caused cancer
32. Donald failed as a steak, water, and vodka salesman.
33. Donald’s media company lost $300 million in just one quarter
34. Donald proposed cutting Social Security and Medicare
35. Donald proposed cutting Social Security and Medicare again
36. Donald proposed cutting Social Security and Medicare again
37. Donald proposed cutting Social Security and Medicare again
38. Donald tried and failed to repeal the Affordable Care Act. But he wants to try again
39. Donald had his former vice president refuse to endorse him
40. Donald bragged on camera about grabbing women
41. Donald celebrated overturning Roe v. Wade
42. (This one is special #42) Donald is 0-42 with jurors in recent cases – more on that later
43. Donald endorsed every state abortion ban in America as “a beautiful thing to watch”
44. Donald said there had to be “some form of punishment” for women who have abortions
45. Donald had the worst jobs record of any president in modern US history
46. Donald lost the House and Senate
47. Donald lost the 2020 presidential election to Joe Biden by more than 7 million votes
48. Donald lost 61 court cases after his election loss
49. Donald “lit that fire” of the Capitol insurrection on Jan. 6
50. Donald has promised to pardon the violent rioters who attacked law enforcement on Jan. 6 who he called “hostages” and “warriors”
51. Donald was the first presidential candidate to ask a state’s Secretary of State to “find” him 11,780 votes
52. Donald posted a $175 million bond in his fraud judgment
53. Donald oversaw the largest single-year increase in violent crime ever recorded
54. Donald was sued by U.S. Capitol Police Officers
55. Then he was sued by another group of U.S. Capitol Police Officers
56. Then another
57. Then another
58. Donald had an ally who was sentenced to prison
59. Then another
60. Then another
61. Then another
62. Then another
63. Then another
64. Then another
65. Then another
66. And four more were charged with crimes
67. Donald Trump was the first former U.S. President to be indicted 1 time
68. Donald Trump was the first former U.S. President to be indicted 2 times
69. Donald Trump was the first former U.S. President to be indicted 3 times
70. Donald Trump was the first former U.S. President to be indicted 4 times
71. Donald became the first former U.S. President convicted of a felony
72. Donald became the first former U.S. President convicted of 2 felonies
73. Donald became the first former U.S. President convicted of 3 felonies
74. Donald became the first former U.S. President convicted of 4 felonies
75. Donald became the first former U.S. President convicted of 5 felonies
76. Donald became the first former U.S. President convicted of 6 felonies
77. Donald became the first former U.S. President convicted of 7 felonies
78. Donald said he would “Make America Great” – he did not

"Damn, we hit 78," Singer concludes. "But for those wondering – Donald has 27 more felony convictions and a lot of other stuff. But you know, sometimes you gotta stick to the shtick."