Colbert: Perhaps Glenn Beck and I 'shouldn't be on TV at all'

The mainstream media is attacking Glenn Beck and Stephen Colbert doesn't think it's fair. "They are attacking the silver gopher because he dominates the coveted demographic of 18-to-49-year-old voices in his head," said Colbert.

Colbert explained, "He has said himself that he is 'not a journalist.' He's just 'a rodeo clown' and if you believe what he says 'you're an idiot.'"

"Which itself proves Glenn believes what he says," concluded Colbert.

Beck is well known for his theatrics like crying on cue. "Those feelings -- something Glenn and evidently thorazine can't control -- are being doubted," Colbert complained.

Democratic strategist James Carville has called Beck "nuts." And even some Republicans doubt him. "Only in America can you make that much money crying," said Sen. Lindsey Graham.

Beck has defended his theatrics. "Either I believe what I say or I'm a fraud," Beck said on his Sept. 14 show. "I respect Glenn for not telling us which one it is," joked Colbert.

Beck continued by demanding an award for his emotional outburst. "So what you're saying is I don't believe it, that I'm acting, that my tears are fake and everything else. Well you know what? It's time for the television industry and all the press and everybody else to put your money where your mouth is. If I'm acting then I'm the best damn actor on television. I want the daytime emmy!" exclaimed Beck.

Colbert can relate to Beck. The media has called Colbert a "fake pundit." Keith Olbermann has said Colbert is "effectively disguised" as a conservative blessing.

Colbert took a moment to respond to Olbermann. "I'm effectively disguised, Keith Olbermann?" Colbert retorted. "You're a sportscaster." Olbermann has worked for ESPN and currently anchors NBC's "Football Night in America" on Sundays.

"So all we need to do to gauge Glenn's sincerity is compare him to me," explained Colbert followed by a series of clips comparing Beck's crying episodes to clips of Colbert weeping. "It's like looking into a mirror after you've done a ton of coke off of it," said Colbert.

"Because if he and I don't believe what we say and don't mean what we feel then you, our viewers, aren't just being intellectually impoverished, you're being emotionally defrauded," Colbert warned. "And that would be a cynical manipulation of Americans' fears in which case we shouldn't be on TV at all," Colbert said as he broke into tears.

"That idea makes me very sad," Colbert trembled with emotion. "I'm sorry. I just love my paycheck very much."

This video is from Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, broadcast Oct. 8, 2009.

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