Future T-Shirt Suggestions For The GOP

So the NRCC got caught selling T-shirts that only really make sense if you believe that being a non-Christian is a terrible thing to be and so evil, in fact, that being nice to non-Christians is obviously wrong.

As with many favorite conservatives lies, the claim that liberals are trying to steal Christmas is so useful that no lack of evidence will stop the myth from being repeated every year. But what makes this T-shirt special is that it lays bare the underlying argument of the "OMG WAR ON XMAS!!!!!" myth: That the acknowledgement that America is a diverse place and that not everyone is a Christian is inherently wrong. Which can only be true if you think everyone ought to be a Christian and object to religious freedom.

Basically, it's as if you have a roomful of five people. One happens to be named Billy and he thinks he's something special. And you walk into the room and say, "Hi, everyone!" and Billy throws a fit because the only proper greeting was to ignore everyone else and only say, "Hi, Billy!" Billy is an asshole. As is anyone who would wear this shirt.

But what really amuses me is that without the back of the shirt, the front doesn't necessarily read as an insult. In fact, without the back, in non-asshole eyes, it seems like praise. "Liberals: They make sure everyone is included." "Liberals: They oppose discrimination." "Liberals: They believe Muslim/Jewish/atheist money spends as good as Christian money." "Liberals: They don't get hung up on bullshit culture wars based on the premise that America should be only welcoming to Christians." "Liberals: They acknowledge the reality of our diverse society." "Liberals: Not stupid enough to forget that Christmas is a holiday."

With that in mind, I have some future suggestions for T-shirt slogans the NRCC can use to, uh, demonize their enemies:

• "You know who wants you to be able to fuck without getting pregnant? Feminists!"
• "Liberals: They seem to think the black President is legitimate."
• "Democrats are the party that doesn't want you to die from lack of health insurance."
• "Acknowledging the overwhelming evidence for global warming is for liberals."
• "Liberals: People who probably won't shoot you while you're unarmed and minding your own business."

Come up with your own "insults" that the NRCC can use for T-shirts in comments!