Here are the 10 unfunniest parts of this Koch brothers' guide to being a funny conservative

The American free market can rest easy. Charles and David Koch have sunk their money into countering the only part of Donald Trump’s message that isn’t completely insane: his critique of trade deals and occasional defense of social security.

The New York Times reported Tuesday that the Koch-funded Americans for Prosperity is leading the Grassroots Leadership Academy, a training program for conservative activists.

“We want a cultural shift of people being able to know what they want and how to talk to the people in their communities, so that in the future, when there are political leaders that want to demagogue free market issues, they do hit resistance,” AFP’s Levi Russell told the Times.

The curriculum includes such helpful guides as the “Moral Case for Fossil Fuels.” But how about comedy, the first genre that should come to mind when we think about old people starving? An instructional video available on their website, called “Insight to Action,” promises to teach the next wave of conservative activists to “Use humor to discuss free markets!”

“Why be funny?” asks a slide at the beginning. Because it makes social interactions more pleasant? To get laid? Wrong. “Comedy is the language of the soul. And of idiots.” OK, we’re off to a good start here, in terms of this making sense.

“Meet the people where they are” a following panel advises. Where is that, at a comedy club? No! It’ more metaphysical than that.

“It’s a communication tool that allows you to related (sic) to people on a deeply human level. We all laugh. Most of us.” (Those without vocal chords (thanks Obama!) drily wheeze when humorously inspired).

Anyway, it goes on like this, a mix of completely weird and not very funny advice on using comedy to advocate for the radical free market policies favored by the Kochs that benefit pretty much no one else in America. It’s an excellent addition to the canon of proof that conservatives aren’t funny (perversely, Donald Trump might be the lone exception here). Here are the ten weirdest parts.

1. If you were sitting there thinking that using humor to fight for the free market agenda would be wine and roses, the Koch brothers have bad news for you.

This is the real curse of Eve, responding to comedy with sudden angry menstruation instead of laughter.

2. Should you put chocolate syrup on your new baby?

3. Just as important as knowing how to be funny is knowing when not to be funny. Do, not, under any circumstance be funny around old people!

If a TSA agent wants to know why you have a syrup covered baby in your suitcase, don’t try to  be funny.

4. Because if America needs anything, it’s more hate and​ dumber politicians.

5. The Daily Show’s secrets revealed.

6. Humor in 140 characters or less!

Try, “If we help promote these billionaire's agenda old people won't be able to afford heat lol :) :)  :) ”

7. Don’t share your pants though.

8. Only go with the freshest memes, like this super new “Hey girl” gag.

9. Is this cat fun? Is it as fun as Milton Friedman? Ask the hip millennials flooding Americans for Prosperity.

10. And naturally, let’s end on a joke that might be racist but is so non­sensical I’m not really sure.