Jon Stewart to Donald Trump: Stop trying to make 'bigrant' happen

A silver-haired Jon Stewart began his show Monday evening by whipping glasses on his face and announcing a breaking news alert that simply could not wait: "Wolf Blitzer and I appear to be merging!"

Stewart kept the tempo up with a quick pivot to a Daily Show reporter with an update on responses to the latest Supreme Court decision on Trump: "Democrats are doing more shower crying than normal, Jon."

Stewart suggested the time had come for Democrats to focus on winning votes, but this reporter disagreed. Other options included:

1. Creating a trail of Reese's Pieces that led into a golden tent with a "Mar-a-Lago" sign in which Trump could be trapped.

2. Cast Trump on "The Golden Bachelor" in hopes the presence of women his own age would make the former president spontaneously combust.

3. Find a witch to turn Trump into a bird and hope he'll migrate south by Election Day.

4. Send Trump an Apple Vision Pro in hopes he'll be to busy to campaign as he entertains himself.

Stewart then slowed his roll for a segment on Southern border rhetoric on both sides, comparing Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's warnings of murders, rapists and thieves to New York City Mayor Eric Adams' quick pivot from "give me your tired" to "we have no more room in this city."

Stewart got the chance to skewer Trump again in this segment when he pointed out that Hannibal Lecter — a fictional cannibal Trump has compared to migrants — would, technically, solve the problem of their being too many people.

Trump's off-the-cuff moment when he coined a portmanteau for Biden and migrant to bemoan "Bigrant crime" did not win Stewart's approval.

"I'm not completely sold on bigrant," Stewart confessed. "It really just sounds like a migrant who's open to cross at either border."

Watch the segment below or click here.

(Content warning: Stewart uses language best described as salty.)