'You are soaked in blood:' This horror movie satire declares 'Here's Katie Britt!'

Sen. Katie Britt’s rebuttal to President Joe Biden’s State of the Union may have lots of peoplelooking forward to the next episode of Saturday Night Live — but the Washington Post’s Alexandra Petri is sitting back and waiting for the horror movie.

Petri’s satirical take everyone is jumping to satirize is more reminiscent of “Get Out” than one might expect of political discourse if this were not the presidential election year that is 2024.

“Fellow MOMS, if you are like me, you lie awake at 2 a.m., wondering how you can BE in three places at once: this KITCHEN, the Senate and the opening monologue of a Purge movie,” Petri’s Britt warns her readers. “Remember, we are “STEEPED in the BLOOD of PATRIOTS.”

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The horrors that follow are detailed with Britt’s unique cadence which, you might have notice, Petri represents by leaning hard on the caps lock.

Much like an insane Jack Torrance trapped inside "The Shining" Overlook Hotel, this parental figure is one you're glad to know is contained in one room of the house.

"DON’T go in the KITCHEN," the satirical Britt requests. “No one has dared REMOVE me because I am SPEAKING in a TONE that makes the PROSPECT of interrupting me TOO FRIGHTENING!”

The fake Britt’s attempt to assuage the fears of viewers is about as soothing as a phone call from Freddy Krueger to let you know “I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy.”

“You might have heard some SCARY things about in vitro fertilization,” she says, “but I’m PROUD to tell you with a TWINKLE in my EYE that it is STILL LEGAL.”

Petri closes out her horror movie take by doing the important cinematographic work of setting the tone and the scene.

“This isn’t CHILLING! It’s FOLKSY!” our horror Senator declares. “Moms, get into the ARENA. You are soaked in blood.”

Watch the real thing below or click the link here.