We tied the knot four years ago today

July 1, 2004

Eleven o'clock in the morning at the

Apricot Cat and Black Dog Bed & Breakfast

in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Who knew that we would see the day when our marriage would be recognized in the United States? Our marriage is recognized in a few states (and as a civil union or domestic partnership in others), but we're second class citizens here in NC. Here at home we still have no hate crimes or employment protections (never mind benefits); there isn't even an anti-bullying law that protects LGBT students yet (more on a critical vote today here).

As Kate and I take time to celebrate our union, we also celebrate all the recent marriages in California; may the voters in that state turn away the disgusting amendment that will be on the ballot in November and preserve marriage equality in the Golden State. Good luck as well to Arizona and Florida advocates of our right to marry -- may those voters turn away the hate amendments at the polls as well.

Marriage equality continues to thrive in small pockets in our country, and one of the best ways we can cultivate support and effect change is to bring those marriages back home where these commitments are not legally recognized. Not to challenge the legal wrong, mind you (it's going to be decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in the end), but to become visible married couples in our communities - living marriage out of the closet before our friends, neighbors, and work colleagues.

Visibility challenges assumptions; show willingness to explain to potential allies how your legal-somewhere-else marriage is denied where you live.

The fact is we will prove by example that our relationships will not cause an end to anyone else's marriage or destroy society, and it will move all of us closer to full civil equality.

Here's our blast-from-the-past photo album.