Panic in Funland
The inevitable crucifixion of Sen. Elizabeth A. Warren -- former progressive savior
June 1, 2016 10:01PM ET
Elizabeth Warren (YouTube)
Next Tuesday night -- a little after 8pm-ish Eastern Time -- the major networks will likely declare former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton the "presumptive Democratic presidential nominee" after she wins the New Jersey primary where she holds about a 17-point lead in the polls over Bernie Sanders.
Hours later, the polls will close in California where Clinton is also expected to win. Then it will all be over except for the convention shouting in July when the deal will be sealed and the die will be cast, and we can proceed to (praise Jeebus) the merciful end of this horrifically long election season with the November general election.
Then we can get started on the 2020 election.
Kill me now.
This coronation of Clinton will happen next Tuesday regardless of the Bernie-or-Busters saying you can't count the superdelegates who won't vote until July and because we know how this story is going to end.
It's over, dude. Let it go.
The Sanders campaign is running out of time, money and conspiracy theories to keep it afloat -- with some Sanders hardliners still holding out for divine FBI intervention. There are also the dreamers trying to sell the idea that they can somehow convince enough of those superdelegates -- made up of members of the Democratic establishment Sanders recently sneered at -- to have a change of heart and jump ship. This will not happen. Not even a little bit.
Current SD score: Clinton 534, Sanders 44 -- and it would be safe to say that the Arctic ice pack is receding faster than Hillary's superdelegate support.
While this is bad for Bernie Sanders who launched a surprisingly strong but ultimately doomed, challenge for the Democratic nomination, it is even worse news for Original Bankster-hatin' Progressive Sen. Elizabeth Warren who is gonna break A LOT of hearts when she endorses Clinton.
And, oh yes, that is definitely going to happen:
The senator from Massachusetts pledged repeatedly that she would make an endorsement in the Democratic contest that pits her ideological ally Bernie Sanders against a more centrist Hillary Clinton.[...]
Clinton campaign spokesman Brian Fallon told the Globe that the campaign is “in regular contact” with Warren’s team. Clinton’s organization has confirmed as much before on background, and the on-the-record statement can be read as a signal that the two camps are getting closer.
You will recall that Warren sat on her endorsement prior to the Massachusetts primary (Clinton 50.1 percent to Bernie's 48.7 percent) and Sanders' biggest fans blamed her for the loss.
As in:
... and that was just for not taking sides.
Of course that was three months ago and you could be excused for thinking people have cooled their Bernie jets since then -- and you would be wrong.
On Tuesday, Jerry Brown -- Governor of the Free and Overwhelmingly Democratic State of California and owner of a stellar 74 percent approval rating with state Democrats -- endorsed Hillary despite having what some might call a contentious relationship with House Clinton.
Guess what happened? Go on, guess...
You get the idea.
Warren will likely have a prominent spot at the Democratic convention because she is not only one of the major stars of the party, but she has become the one of the few people to have shown a real knack for irritating the holy fuck out of Donald Trump to the point where his little Twitter hategasms look...what's the word? Oh yes: Sad!
But before we get there, Warren is going to take her lumps because she is the biggest progressive fish remaining in the sea and losing her is going to leave a mark. She will then, briefly, become an Apostate in the House of Progressivism and there will a great gnashing of teeth and rending of #FeelTheBern garments because she will have revealed herself to be: a politician with an eye on the big picture.
Also a "HillaryShillBot kowtowing to her Wall Street overlords etc etc etc something something emails Benghazi rigged skewed DNC argh look at how Bernie does in the polls against Trump [sound effect from shower scene in Psycho] untranslatable 'barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world,' I hate you."
That will be in her Facebook comment section in one form or another.
All caps optional.
#FeelTheDisappointment