'Big if true:' Pundits laugh as Trump declares judge 'literally crucified' witnesses

Former President Donald Trump, a newly convicted felon, said Friday that witnesses were "literally crucified" by the "devil" who looks "so nice and soft" and oversaw his criminal hush money trial.

The presumptive Republican presidential nominee delivered this message from the lobby of Trump Tower in New York City where he has been found guilty of falsifying business records to conceal hush money payments ahead of the 2016 presidential election.

"Witnesses that were on our side, they were literally crucified by this man who looks like an angel, but he is really a devil," Trump said of Justice Juan Merchan.

"He looks so nice and soft, people say, 'Oh he seems like such a nice man.' No, unless you saw him in action, and you saw that, with a certain witness who went through hell."

ALSO READ: ‘Strategy and manipulation’: Artist draws truth from Trump’s face at hush money trial

This lengthy comment startled viewers who found themselves stumbling over an adverb that, by definition, limits interpretation to the basic facts.

"Literally crucified” replied political scientist Jack Pitney on X. "Does Trump know the meaning of either word?"

Replied X user Flower Child, "Literally, no."

“Literally crucified” echoed the Lincoln Project's Rick Wilson. "I missed THAT day."

"Big if true," quipped political commentator Jon Favreau. "Now he's talking about sheetrock, for some reason."

"Apparently the Judge "literally crucified" some witnesses," replied X user Dan Rebellato. "You'd think the press would have covered that."

Trump's defense witnesses had been attorney Robert Costello or paralegal Daniel Sitko. While Costello was reprimanded by the judge for his behavior in court, neither were nailed to a cross by Merchan.