Bristol Palin claims family's drunken brawl never happened, even after audio proof released

Bristol Palin responded to the release of police audio from a brawl she and her family were involved in on September 6, 2014 -- not by addressing any of the material heard on the tapes directly, but by dismissing the combatants as self-promoters and complaining about liberal media bias.

Instead of discussing the substance of her tearful discussion with police officers, she complained that the media distorts stories about her family because "the truth just isn't profitable." However, she finally decided to address the "rumors" about the "brawl" in which her family was involved.

"Instead of listening to all the people who weren’t there -- people who claim they heard this from their cousin/brother/sister-in-law/step-daughter/long lost little brother -- let me tell you what actually happened," she wrote on Patheos the day after the police released audio from the scene.

Bristol claimed that a friend of the family, whose name was not mentioned, "got knocked out from a cheap shot from behind" by a self-promoting Palin-hater who was tweeting that he was "about to get famous." She did not provide a link to that tweet, nor a screen capture of it.

A large woman then pushed her sister, Willow, who ran to the car in which Bristol was sitting, and she went to confront the woman, but she was unable to because a "towering" man -- "probably at 6 foot something and over 200 pounds" -- allegedly yelled "you c*nt! Get the f*ck out of here, you slut!" at her.

This man, also unnamed in Bristol's account, then pushed her to the ground and held her there "until someone got me out of the situation" through means she does not bother to describe. According to her, "that's it -- that's the story."

Media accounts of the brawl could not have been true, she continued, because witnesses said she swung repeatedly "with a strong right hook," but she is left-handed and still has "a perfect manicure on all ten of my nails."

She concluded by noting that Joe Biden's son was kicked out of the Navy Reserves for using cocaine, and Clinton "family pal" Edward Mezvinsky was convicted of wire, bank, and mail fraud. She claimed that "you didn't" hear about those stories -- both of which were covered extensively in the national media -- because "the friends and family of the revered liberal elite are treated like delicate China. In the meantime, I was pushed and held down by some guy...and the media salivates like a dog that’s just been given a bone."