Controversial New York Post columnist: Lohan deserves 'swift kick in the teeth'

New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser, notorious for her outrageous quips, believes that troubled actress Lindsay Lohan, sentenced to 90 days in jail, also deserves a "swift kick in the teeth."

The Rupert Murdoch owned tabloid often uses its editorial pages to blast the "morality" of today's generation, even though it often showcases profanity and near-pornography to sell papers. Peyser's column, titled "No, Lindsay, it's time you 'F' yourself," is featured in an edition which includes on its cover a picture of Lohan's painted 'F**ck U' and a cheesecake shot of the alleged Russian spy nude with "Top Secret" covering her breasts.

"Enough! Blubbering, bawling mega boob Lindsay Lohan doesn't deserve a speck of your sympathy or support, nor a dollop of respect," Peyser writes. "What Linz desperately needs is a swift kick in the teeth, a foot in the backside and a broom with which to clean up her many messes, which I would not touch with a full-body condom."

After telling a young actress to go "F" herself and suggesting she deserves to be physically assaulted, Peyser explains that she's upset because Lohan isn't a role model for young girls.

She's finished. Over. Once, she was a role model for young ladies, the fresh-faced child star who entered our living rooms and movie theaters with heaps of promise and every opportunity known to man and the creator. Now, she poses a dangerous example to girls everywhere, proving that, with enough money, fame and drugs, one never has to take responsibility for one's behavior.

In response to Peyser's column, Jen Carlson at the Gothamist blogs, "Seems like someone didn't take their meds before putting pen to paper..."

At the Village Voice, Jen Doll writes, "Have you heard of Andrea Peyser? She's a "columnist" person for the New York Post, and she likes to get all up in people's business, especially, for some reason, if they're women more attractive than her (Ooh, we said it)."

While Hamilton Nolan at Gawker believes, "New York Post sex columnist Andrea Peyser is positively smitten with America's heartthrob, Lindsay Lohan. It's so obvious. Andrea's just like a little kid, spewing false insults at her crush object to cover up her undying love."

Andrea's adorable lovelorn hints are so ill-concealed:

As the final insult, she came to court on Tuesday with her left middle fingernail stenciled with the height of obscenities — "f - - k u" — which Lindsay aimed squarely at the judge, spectators and the planet in general. It should have been aimed squarely at Lindsay herself.

See? Andrea Peyser wants to "fuck u," Lindsay. Call her.

In the past, Peyser has written about how a cat bludgeoned to death deserved to die ("The stupid cat had it coming"), that a banker suing over sexism is a "boob" because she had breast enhancement surgery ("Debrahlee Lorenzana, the man-hungry, plastic-surgery-addicted, fame-whoring single mom who fantasizes about nailing George Clooney while hoisting a mountainous chest, makes me ashamed to be of the same species, let alone the same sex"), that Rev. Al Sharpton is "the Lady Gaga of the civil-rights movement," and that "even my nanny agrees" illegals should be deported ("They just want to take from this beautiful country," she told me. "They don't want to work. They want to commit crimes or whatever." Wow.)

For years, the Post used to feature Peyser's election day columns about how the alleged life-long Democrat was going to vote Republican, but eventually readers stopped falling for the ruse.

Peyser's recent book "Celebutards" contained the following blurbs, that clearly show her political ideology:

"With Peyser's trademark slashing wit and keen eye for liberal hypocrisy, CELEBUTARDS is guaranteed to score a direct hit on pampered Hollywood spokes-persons and other great liberal thinkers." Ann Coulter

"Andrea Peyser is a godsend, and I can't start my day without her."

Sean Hannity

"Andrea Peyser. . .Today's Worst Person in the World!"

Keith Olbermann

LA Times blogger Richard Winton notes, "Actress Lindsay Lohan wrote Wednesday that an expletive visible on her fingernail during the court hearing where she got 90 days in jail was a joke unrelated to the Beverly Hills case."

Lohan wrote on her Twitter account that the vulgarity on her middle fingernail "had nothing to do w/court. It's an airbrush design from a stencil xx."

As the actress told Judge Marsha N. Revel on Tuesday that she was taking the probation violation seriously, the expletive was captured by the courtroom photographer. It raised questions about the message she was sending.