Dear Raw Story readers,

I know, what you're doing. Because I did it too. I thought that the peaceful protests and the riots in Baltimore were in response to the police murder of Freddie Gray, police brutality, the culture of police impunity, and systemic racism. It turns out, we're off. Way off. Here's what's really to blame (besides Obama, but we already knew that): gay marriage, single parenting, low self-esteem, entitlements and personal behavior, whatever that means.

I'm going to apologize in advance for this less than exhaustive list of outrageous and offensive right wing explanations for what's really behind the Baltimore unrest. But I would be here all weekend, and you would be reading all week, if I compiled every single one. I will be back with an update soon enough, but these gems of absolute denial, distortion and dickeshness should hold you over for now.

Enjoy!

Bill O'Reilly: Racial Persecution? Not so much. Personal responsibility? So much!

Fox News Psychiatrist Keith Ablow: Not enough Deepak Chopra.

Fox News Charles Krauthammer: the usual suspects (Teachers Unions, Democrats)

Rand Paul: not enough dads

Rep Bill Flores: Too MANY Dads. Because what would a political debate be without attributing tragedy to same-sex marriage?