Scorching heat and empty baptism pools: Inside Trump's deserted American State Fair

Visitors watch an empty ferris wheel. (Matt Laslo/Raw Story)

A hologram Abraham Lincoln was left addressing an audience of one in the air-conditioned Illinois exhibit. (Matt Laslo/Raw Story)

A 'provocateur' wears an All Of Us Are Immigrants T-shirt. (Matt Laslo/Raw Story)

The baptism pool is empty. (Matt Laslo/Raw Story)

The Great American State Fair's entrance is empty at 10 a.m. (Matt Laslo/Raw Story)

The picnic area, like the rest of the fair, is empty. (Matt Laslo/ Raw Story)

WASHINGTON — Ever throw a party only to have no one show up? Awkward. Lonely. Embarrassing.

Welcome to President Donald Trump’s Great American State Fair, where even the baptism pool was empty in Friday’s 100-degree heat as two men waved large flags to a crowd of two and a half — a little boy danced to soulless piano playing to the massive “revival” tent’s eight rows of empty chairs.

America may be back according to MAGA bumper stickers, but if Trump’s fair is any barometer, the nation’s surely seen better days.

At this lightly attended spectacle, even hologram Abraham Lincoln was left addressing an audience of one in the air-conditioned Illinois exhibit.

But it was not just dead presidents getting a cool reception. Even America’s living U.S. trade representative Ambassador Jamison Greer’s panel commemorating Horespower of America — Thursday’s official theme at this state fair — was only attracting a crowd some 15 people when Raw Story visited, not including his three-person, suit-donning security detail and a handful of event staff.

It seems pigs are more popular than politicians, though.

Thursday morning’s youth livestock exhibition featured pigs. The live display attracted a rotating cast of some 20 people on one grandstand — even as the other rodeo stand remained empty throughout the porky presentation — which was far more interest than Trump’s trade rep garnered.

“I guess, technically, that’s a rodeo,” an older man told his unimpressed partner as they passed the day’s sparsely attended youth livestock show (Thursday’s afternoon “rodeo” was later canceled, apparently due to the heat).

In the stifling temperatures, grumblings were heard amongst attendees when they reached exhibits, only to be turned away by event staff, like the temporarily shuttered Virginia and Texas exhibits.

“Oh no,” one lady exclaimed. “I just wanted to get out of the heat.”

Other makeshift fan-waving visitors peeked their heads into exhibits just for a second as they hunted for hydration that was cooler than the lukewarm-to-hot bottles of water passed out for free.

“There’s no water,” one female scout yelled to her small group huddled outside the Maryland exhibit.

Other visitors were surprised to see their home state’s packed like sardines in exhibit halls, like the one small temporary building dedicated to Rhode Island, Vermont and — because they have so much in common — Kentucky.

“I don’t know why they have Vermont and Rhode Island in here, too,” one man complained through a southern drawl.

“Kinda weird,” his female companion agreed.

One of the more popular exhibits seemed to be the South Carolina one, as older visitors found respite in the state’s six large white rocking chairs.

Another popular exhibit was Florida’s, but folks waiting in the 40-some-odd-people-long line weren’t quite sure why there was a line, let alone why they were waiting in it.

“Is this the line for Florida?” Raw Story asked as Lynyrd Skynyrd's “Free Bird” wailed over the loudspeakers. “What’s in there that’s so good?”

“Yeah,” a family at the end of the line said just about in unison.

“We were wondering the same thing,” a lady chimed in.

“A little puppy,” an Asian tourist mimed with her hands.

“Oh, okay,” the lady replied. “Like a little stuffed animal.”

While there was some MAGA gear spotted throughout the crowd, one visitor’ proudly wore an “all of us are immigrants” shirt.

“Sometimes the possibilities of good trouble present themselves,” Bob, who was in town with his wife from Pennsylvania, told Raw Story. “I’m a provocateur.”

Though Bob gave credit where credit was due.

“It’s also a Steve Earle song called ‘City of Immigrants,’” Bob went out of his way to confess to Raw Story later in the afternoon.

While the administration has refused calls to publicly disclose all of the fair’s financial backers, corporate logos are prominent in Trump’s America.

What’s more American than the military-industrial complex? To the chagrin of former President Dwight D. Eisenhower, everywhere you looked throughout the fair you could spot a logo of Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, SpaceX, GE Aerospace and other contractors.

The Pentagon and other agencies also got in on the action, as they turned their exhibition space into recruiting centers as Air Force Thunderbirds buzzed the National Mall outside.

The Department of Homeland Security even passed out FEMA-emblazoned crayons, coloring books and Pedro the Penguin maps of hazards across all 50 states for kids to color.\

Silicon Valley’s finest also flexed their corporate might throughout the event, including Oracle, Uber, Micron Technologies, Mosaic, and Chime.

Signs for Phorm Energy — a caffeine-spiked drink company co-owned by UFC president Dana White and Anheuser-Busch — were also hard to miss.

Traditional American companies like Wrangler, Tractor Supply and Scott’s Miracle-Gro are also sponsors. And, of course, oil and gas conglomerates like Chevron were hard to miss.

“It’s interesting seeing all the corporate sponsors,” Hannah, a recent college graduate who got her first job working for a senator on Capitol Hill, told Raw Story.

Corporations are as American as mass-produced apple pies, her and other guests were reminded.

“It’s like, ‘Oh yeah!’” Hannah laughed. “I was on a run, and I was like, ‘Wait, I might as well peek in.’”

Her review?

“Not too much of a fan, personally, because I grew up with my grandma telling me how awesome the bicentennial was,” Hannah told Raw Story. “So I was kind of looking forward to that, and it’s definitely a little more politicized than I think the celebration should be.”